Got this e-mail this morning and thought there might be a few of you in SoCal who can help this twink out in his quest for poz cum…

Hi my name is *** I was looking at BB shit today and came across your blog, k I know this is weird, but I’ve been trying for like a year to find a hot top to poz me my residence is ***, california aka orange county, seeing as it seems like you talk to people everywhere or at least know a few maybe you can help me I know it seems easy but I want it to be with a guy who is at least under 33, only because I want it to be really hot I want him to want to poz me and that’s the whole point of fucking me, long story short I’ve been trying to find a guy for a little over a year and have been unsuccessful, so if you could help me, refer me 2 someone or idk really but its my biggest fantasy, I’ve wanted to do this for 3 years took 2 to think about and 1 to start looking.

If you want to contact him, his e-mail is: [removed]

And for all of you who are appalled by this… Notice the part where he’s been thinking about it for 3 years… It’s not like he’s made the decision lightly nor is is likely he’ll stay neg once he’s made the decision to get pozzed after that much thinking about it…

Here are some pics of him. Had to crop out his face, but he really is pretty cute…

[pics removed]

UPDATE: The twink asked me to take things down, that he’s “got things covered now”….

Load 2009-18

There’s a Latino who’s been hitting me up for a while. He doesn’t have any pics on BBRT so I sorta told him I wasn’t interested unless I could see pics. So apparently he searched for me on Adam4Adam until he found me. He’s got pics there and so I liked what I saw and was interested in hooking up… Once again he was really persistent in sending me messages, but he finally got what he was looking for 😉 and we hooked up last night.

I didn’t realize where he was located. I asked him if he could get here by 7 or so ’cause I really didn’t want to hookup much later. He made it sound like he’d leave soon, so I waited. He got here closer to 8 and had to take a car service to get here. On the good side, when he did show up he was pretty much exactly like his pics.

Anyway, we kissed a bit and then he went down on me and sucked my dick. I hadn’t taken a pill that day – the partial pill I took the day before was still having an effect – though the effects were waning… He got me pretty hard and like the guy the night before liked forcing my dick down his throat.

Before he did much more he asked if I was neg. I said ‘yes’, and he asked “are you sure?”, and I said ‘yeah’ (my last test was late may – so I’m about as certain as anyone will be answering that question). It’s been a long time since a bottom asked me if I was neg. Most “neg” bareback bottoms don’t really care or don’t want to think about it… I wonder what the guy would have done if I had said “probably” or “I think so” or “not sure”… Would he have left? I’m guessing he would have asked for a rubber. Then what would he have done when I had refused?

When I was nice and hard he jumped up, pulled out his camera and asked me to take pics of my dick in his ass. He wanted to have pics he could put on BBRT. Taking pics was fine with me – especially if it will help a neg bottom get more cum in his ass! Long story short at first I thought I was taking pics, but wasn’t actually taking any. Then he wanted me to take them differently. I’m not sure if his objective was to get fucked or have pics taken…

Either way I did finally get my dick inside him… He had a nice hole with one exception – he had recently shaved ass and there was stubble. Now mind you, his “smooth” ass looked great in pics, but personally I would have preferred a hairy ass that was less like sandpaper – but it was a small distraction. Honestly I’ve fucked asses that were a lot more stubbly – it wasn’t really that bad.

I fucked him bent over the bed for a bit, then pushed him onto the bed and fucked him doggy style and finally more on his belly with me at a bit of an angle and then with me lined up with him.

Of course, he had to interrupt things for more pics, but then we got back into it. At one point he asked if I’d pull out and cum on his hole. I get SO tired hearing neg bottoms ask for that… I know they’re trying to avoid getting cum in their ass. So I just kept fucking him knowing I’d probably have to cum quietly so he wouldn’t squirm away from my dick as I’m about to cum.

As I got really close I had a bit of a dilemma… Usually I have to stop (or slow down drastically) and then I cum, but if I stopped he’ll pull off my dick. Just as I’m about to cum he detects things are different for me. He tries to turn around and I’m thinking to myself – fucker! he’s going to screw up my orgasm, but actually it worked really well… He turned around a bit and asked me if I just came. As he’s asking the question I hadn’t, so I say ‘no’, but right at that moment I feel myself unloading in him. So I correct my answer and say he just got my load. He didn’t seem all that bothered by having just taken my load. He might have just wanted a pic of s cummy hole – don’t really know. But if he wanted a pic of a cummy hole he should have said so – that I would have been up for 😉

The bottom line is that he was a bit of a controlling bottom and likes things his way. That doesn’t always work for the top. In this case it lead to a hookup that was OK, but not as good as it could have been. I did cum, but it was sorta anti-climatic. Afterwards, we rolled over and he had me shove a few fingers in his now cummy ass as he jacked off. When he came I licked some of it up – it was nice and tangy… 😉

He took a shower and then left. He seemed like he was in a bit of a hurry, or he was nervous or something. Not sure what was going on… He asked me to call a car service. They quoted $15 to get to his place, but then he texted me and said the driver charged him $20. Oh, and on the way down he lost the stylus for his phone in the taxi on the way here. So he spent close to $40 and lost a stylus, all for a so-so hookup. But he got his pics and wants to hookup again. Maybe next time he’ll be less nervous.

So for some strange reason yesterday I decided I wanted to have a butt plug up my ass. When I took a shower in the morning I got the butt plug all soapy and tried to get it up my ass, but it wouldn’t go (I was too tight).  I gave up but then decided to try a few minutes later and managed to get it in there, but it was excruciatingly painful, so I took it out. The funny part was my bf said “that was a long shower” as I was getting out… 😉

Later in the day I decided to try again. Used lube this time and managed to get it in and endured the initial pain. Walked around for a bit with it in, sat at my desk. But it was pushing on my bladder making me want to pee. Finally I wanted it out so I went to pull it out and sorta squatted over the toilet as I did it. Well, I wasn’t clean and a huge amount of shit came out with it. Got all over the place and the butt plug wound up in the toilet. So I had to clean myself up, clean the toilet, and fish the butt plug out of the toilet and then clean it off. (Yuck!)

Needless to say, I should stick to being a top!

Load 2009-17

I’ve fucked some great holes this year despite not fucking all that much. Jayson Park and Christian from Treasure Island spring to mind… But I think the guy last night beat even those guys… It was like his entire body was an extension of his hole. He was smooth all over (except a little below the knee), which meant his hole was hairless. But his ass was perfectly built for fucking – I could tell even before I fucked him…

Let me back up and start over… I’ve been on Recon.com lately. Tried it out for IML and it was a bit of a bust then (not sure why since there should have been thousands of Recon guys just in the hotel I was in), but when I got back to NY things started picking up – which wasn’t what I was expecting at all. A lot of the guys on the site want safe sex. When you search for barebackers you don’t get many profiles returned, but what I’ve figured out is a lot of guys just leave the field blank and you can’t search for blank values…

The thing I like about Recon is that it’s got the more extreme crowd. Guys you can literally beat up and get a “thank you SIR” in return. One guy who lives not far from my sees himself as a dog in a human body and has had some pretty extreme puppy training – to the point that he now craves dog shit (which goes beyond my level of comfort and then some)… Anyway, I digress..

So this Latino hits me up. He’s got himself listed in the “leather” section so I suspected he wasn’t all that hardcore, but his pics looked good enough and he seemed like he’d be a good fuck. When he said “Wednesday evening” days in advance he seemed serious enough, so I put him on my calendar. Wednesday morning he confirmed so it looked like one of the few hookups that are scheduled in advance that actually happen.

7pm comes and the buzzer rings, but it’s the wife of the straight guy who’s in having drinks with my boyfriend – she forgot her keys and wanted to be let into the building. All I can think is “Great – I want to be in leather gear when I answer the door for my trick, but I’ll open the door and see my straight neighbors…”

I should mention that about that time I was starting to think if he didn’t show up it would be fine with me. I had jacked off twice the day before and wasn’t completely in the mood to fuck and even though I had taken part of a pill, I didn’t know how I’d perform. But just as I was composing a tweet to say that, the bell rang. He was 15 minutes late, but that turned out to be a good thing since it the neighbors were out of sight by then.

He comes in and looks pretty much like his pics. He had more South American Indian in him than most Latinos. When he told me he was from Peru that sorta made sense. But it was a good mix – he lacked the unattractive body that most South American Indians have… He took off his clothes and had a great little body. Imagine a slightly muscled body covered with just a little fat making him soft and solid at the same time. All in a hot little Latino package that was smooth pretty much all over. I could just tell he was going to be a good fuck. Given my mood I didn’t know if I could cum, but I knew I’d have fun fucking him…

While he stripped naked I kept my clothes on. I was wearing a leather bar vest, jeans, and my Wesco boots. He liked how I looked and I figured it would be more interesting for him to keep my clothes on… I asked him what he was into (since we did meet on Recon), and the bottom line was not much – pretty much vanilla sex, but he liked the men he found on Recon – big masculine guys – especially guys in leather…

He sucked my dick for a while. At first I thought I thought he wasn’t a very good cocksucker ’cause I kept feeling his teeth, but then I realized he liked deep throating. He’d get down deep on my dick and just stay there… That sorta gave me license to back him up against the footboard of the bed and force my dick down his throat. That was a little much for him, so I backed off…

I didn’t have him over for a blowjob so soon had him legs up on the bed and I ate out his hole. It smelled freshly washed. It was perfectly smooth and his ass just curved into his hole perfectly like a soft man cunt. I could tell he was perfectly clean and sucked away at his ass… It was truly sweet…

That progressed to me spitting on his hole and shoving in. He felt as good as I thought he would. He was warm, silky and soft – with just a touch of tightness. In other words an absolutely perfect hole. When I said earlier that his whole body accentuated his hole what I meant was that his body had the same characteristics as his hole… Smooth body, smooth hole. Lightly muscled body with a small layer of fat, and his hole was soft yet had muscular control… In other words what my dick was feeling matched the sensations from the rest of my body…

I was still fully clothed which the bottom seem to really like. He liked the sensation of my jeans on his bare skin. After a bit I flipped him over sort half on his belly and fucked him from the side a bit. Felt really good – incredible actually. He was a bit of a moaner, but not too loud… And he was using poppers almost constantly…

Then finally I put him completely on his belly and really pounded the shit out of his hole. There was a point when, if I hadn’t cum twice the day before, I would have blasted my load up his hole. It was like a dry orgasm. I’m guessing he got a little bit of cum right then, but not the full deal… I mentioned that I didn’t cum and he said “Good – don’t want you to cum too soon”. For probably the next 30 minutes I’d pound him hard, then go slow while I caught my breath, then pound him hard again, then catch my breath…

That kept going on but I was totally overheating and when I’m overheated I definitely can’t cum. So we rolled over on our sides with my dick still in his ass and took more of a rest, but then took off my vest to cool down a bit and pushed him on his belly and fucked him some more… Then we rolled on our side again… And so on… Finally I was just too exhausted and as we laid there talking my dick got soft and fell out of his ass.

I figured that was pretty much it, but then he went back to sucking my dick – trying to get it hard again. After a bit of that I had him  lay on top of me so I could eat out his hole while he sucked me. After a while that got me hard again and I went back to fucking him.

As I expected I got overheated and slowed down after a bit. I mentioned that I probably wouldn’t be able to cum, and then went back to fucking him. As I started back I was thinking of how excellent he’d be at a sex club – the tops would love the feel of his ass. I asked him what the most loads were that he’d gotten in a night – he said 10 loads – years ago at the East Side Club (a bathhouse here in NY that caters to older, stocky guys, sorta like me). I could just see him in action. He was really digging my big bearish body – I could just see him totally getting into all the guys at East Side Club… Somehow that thought got me to cum and I blasted a nice big load up his hole… 😉

We chatted a little more. I learned where he grew up, how long he’d been in NY and that he works at one of the top restaurants in the City. Good guy. Hope he becomes a regular!

A really hot site site has just been relaunched – Butt Machine Boys. So I figured I’d promote it. While it’s not a bareback site, it doesn’t have condoms either and it’s all about guys getting their holes abused. But before I promoted it I figured I’d find a place that sold fucking machines. I found the machines for sale at Mr. S. Leathers (a big San Francisco-based company), and saw that they had an affiliate program, so I signed up. Unlike most places they review you before you get approved, so I waited. Two days later I got the following response:

Thank you for your recent application for the affiliate program. I regret we can not approve your application; you have a pretty extensive website with videos, scene reviews and erotica but as a company that contributes greatly to HIV/AIDS research and health organizations, there is a conflict of interest when considering websites with the focus of unprotected sex.

I hope that you can understand our decision and know that we pass no personal or professional judgments. If I can be of assistance in the future, please feel free to contact me.

Needless to say I had to reply 😉

No, actually I don’t understand the decision at all. By not engaging with people who bareback you’re losing the opportunity to talk with them and express your views to them. How will you ever change anyone’s mind by rejecting them and not talking with them? I’m giving you the opportunity to get traffic from a bareback site (and btw, I’ve got condom sites as well). What you do with that traffic is up to you. If you want to show safe sex messages in the side bars – it’s fine with me. Prior to now I respected you guys. I’d much rather give you guys traffic than Extreme Restraints, but it doesn’t look like that will be happening…

Think about this for a moment… There are a lot of blogs like mine that talk about barebacking but almost none that talk about safe sex. Add to that there are very very few that talk about what it’s like to be poz. And then people like you wonder why guys don’t try to stay neg. You’ve turned inwards and then wonder why your message isn’t relevant and isn’t getting out. That will only change if you start actively engaging people who don’t agree with you.

So no, don’t understand your decision at all. While it disappoints me, given IML’s antics lately, it doesn’t surprise me.

The bottom line is that Mr. S. Leathers doesn’t want to be associated with you. So if you’ve shopped there, stop. Why would you give money to a company that doesn’t like you?

Now the one piece I’ve gotten from Mr. S is the leather hood I put on bottoms… The question is how to handle it… I’m thinking I’ll give them credit to make it clear they’re associated with bareback porn already. Maybe I should even title the scenes things like “Bareback bottom in Mr. S Leathers hood never sees the guys who breed his ass”.

But seriously – how in the hell do they expect to achieve their goals and make the changes they want to make if they refuse to engage with the people they want to change? People amaze me sometimes…

Load 2009-16

Yesterday this sub bottom on Recon wanted to hookup. Said he was a fuck up and screwed up everything in his life and needed some discipline. He said he was up for being videotaped, so I went through the trouble of decluttering the bedroom, setting up the lights, making sure the cameras were charged and I had tapes for them, etc. Then he didn’t show. Didn’t answer calls or texts, etc… Yeah, he does screw up everything. He’ll get one more shot and he will be pretty brutally disciplined for fucking up this time (but he wants that)… [Actually, been in the mood a lot lately to really beat the shit out of someone (who’s into that)… Gotta get myself a sub who’s really into abuse…]

My bf had a hookup scheduled and we had to go downtown afterwards to pick up this little table he had bought the day before, so I figured I’d hookup with someone on my way down. There were a couple of options but the one that worked out quickest was the Latino on the Upper West Side that I’ve been fucking for over 5 years now. He’s been a dependable cumhole on MANY occasions…

So I show up and he’s like he always is, on all fours – ass up head down right inside the door. He really gets into just being an anonymous cumhole. He’s got a t-shirt on and a jockstrap. Like usual the one negative is that when I start rimming his hole I taste the lube he’s put there, but I still rim him for a while before I go to fuck him. It’s more comfortable to have him on his belly so I push him down and fuck him that way.

I had taken a part of a pill and was nice and hard. It felt great being in him and it wasn’t long before he was getting my nutt deep in him. Having fucked him so many times I know the thing he loves is feeling my weight on top of him after we fuck. We did that for a while then I rolled us onto our sides and we talked for a bit with my still hard dick up his ass.

The chat was interesting. I hadn’t realized that he had a boyfriend, who co-incidentally he met about the same time I started fucking him 5 years ago. And on top of that he mentioned the boyfriend was a big stocky white guy – sorta like me, which explains why the bottom has always seemed to have a thing for me. We chatted about a lot of things – he’s going to MAL in January… Stuff like that…

As we talked I was still pretty hard and the conversation would get interrupted every now and then for him sucking my dick, or riding me, or me fucking him… It was a nice relaxed hookup, but finally I needed to get downtown to meet my boyfriend, so I left and went on my way…