I know this post is going to be pretty controversial, but while I would have liked to see us win on Prop 8, after thinking about it for a few days, I think losing on Prop 8 is actually a good thing for our community.

The gay community used to be pretty political – in your face, and radical. We used to look bigots in the eyes and say “fuck you!” Now we look those bigot in the face and want to be like them. We’re running to the suburbs, setting up house like Ward and June Cleaver, and wanting those bigots to accept us.

Well, they’re bigots, why in the hell do we want their acceptance? Why should their acceptance matter? Why is it that our sense of self-worth is in their hands in the first place?

That’s why I think losing on Prop 8 is good for us. It’s a slap in the face to all the people in our community who are trying to be “straight-acting”.

Then there’s the 27% of the gay community that voted for McCain. They fit in there somewhere, but in a very complicated way… Needless to say, they horrify me. Only 15% of Manhattanites voted for McCain, how can nearly twice as many gay people vote for him? How is it that Manhattan is twice as liberal as the gay community?

Yes, I’m legally married, and I think we should have the right to marry and have our marriages fully recognized everywhere. I don’t want civil unions, I want marriage because “separate but equal” is always separate and never equal. [I’d love to get Obama in a room and have him, as an intelligent black man, look me in the eye and tell me that “separate but equal” is a good idea.]

While I want gay marriage, I don’t want our marriages to mimic straight marriages. There are those in our community who want marriage so they can be more like straight people, so they can be better in line with heterosexual norms. That’s just fucked up.

This summer I said I was really disappointed in Lambda Legal for telling gay people not to sue for their rights. I think the loss on Prop 8 sorta vindicates what I’m saying. I realize there’s legal strategy behind what they were saying and they didn’t want negative precidents, but for god’s sake 30 states have now made gay marriage illegal. We can’t even win equality in California where the Republican governor is fine with gay marriage. What does that tell us about the US right now? If you can’t win through being nice in a place like California, you’re fucked and it’s clearly the wrong strategy.

I think we should have a blitzkrieg of lawsuits and our rallying cry should be that we are not 2nd class citizens and we won’t just shut up and sit in the back of the bus. I think we need to hold friends accountable for how they vote, and even take it into our business lives and refuse to do business with bigots, when we’re able to do so financially.

I really like the fact that some people are talking about stripping the Mormon church of tax exempt status. We need to be in-your-face radicals. We need to make people see that it’s not acceptable to be bigots. For too long we’ve let the fundies take the battle to us. Let’s turn that around. Let’s show that you’re not “pro-life” if you start offensive wars that kill tens of thousands of people, and you’re not “pro-family” if you can’t respect loving, stable homes that happen to be gay, and you’re not “defending our children” if you don’t allow unmarried people to be foster and adoptive parents.

If you need a model for how a radical strategy works, just look back to ACT UP and the fight for AIDS treatment. ACT UP was throwing blood on people, but it raised the issue, made a point, and softened people up so they’d make deals with the moderates in our community. But now we have no radicals and the right wing extremists are painting our moderates as “too extreme” and “dangerous”. Well, let’s show them too extreme and dangerous so they can understand the difference.

Monday night I was feeling horny, but wasn’t sure whethe I could cum or not. It had been a really hard few days (work is kicking my ass the last few weeks). I wanted to release some sexual tension and preferred to do it by fucking. But since I wasn’t sure how things would go I figured I’d fuck the sub daddy bottom I fuck from time to time. So I sent him and e-mail and he said he’d come right over. I had had seen him advertising on Craigslist and told him if he had gotten any loads in him he should leave them there unless it would mean he wouldn’t be clean. He said he’d gotten three so far during the day from three different married guys and that he’d leave them up there.

When he got here I just sat back on the couch and let him service me orally. He wasn’t all that careful with his teeth so I told him to be careful. All in all he was trying a little too hard – going too fast. But whatever… It got me hard, so I put him on his belly on a towel on the floor and fucked him.

He felt fine, but I was wiped and it was catching up to me. I gave him a decent fuck, but just couldn’t cum. So we took a break and he sucked my dick some more. It felt better when I was squatting on the floor ’cause it changed the angle he was sucking me from, but being on the floor wasn’t comfortable.

We changed it up, I sat on the couch, then fucked him a little more, but it just wasn’t happening. So after a while I said I wasn’t going to be able to cum, and we wrapped things up and he left…

While the election of Barak Obama is a huge leap forward, I just want to remind people that many other things didn’t exactly go our way last night…

• It looks like we lost on Prop 8 in California (final numbers aren’t in yet). $73 million was spent on that fight. $37.6 million by gay friendly forces and $35.8 million by bigots. That’s a huge loss. Personally, I’m ambivalent about it. While I’m married I’ve never thought forcing someone to recognize your relationship changes anything. They either genuinely recognize it or they don’t. Give it a few years and it will fix itself.
• Gay marriage lost in Arizona (no surprise).
• We’re now banned from adopting children in Arkansas.
• Gay marriage lost in Florida.

So in a way it was a very bad night for gay rights last night (abortion rights didn’t have a very good night either). BUT the silver lining is the Supreme Court judges that Obama will appoint and the fact that anti-gay legislation will have a hard time getting passed on the federal level with the Democrats in charge. In the end we will win, but yesterday was very much a mixed message from a gay point of view.

The funny part is that California used to always be seen as the most gay-friendly part of the US. I think we can say that that’s now changed. New York and New England are doing much better for the gay community. As of yesterday there are now no Republican senators from NY/New England. Massachusetts has gay marriage. Connecticut will have it in a few days, and New York recognizes gay marriages from other states (to a limited extent). That means four of the New York’s immediate neighbors have gay marriage – Massachusetts, Connecticut, Ontario and Quebec.

That said, I was just a little bit surprised with the election results in Manhattan. Last election 86% voted for Kerry. This time 85% voted for Obama. I’m really surprised the percentage went down (even a point) – I was expecting it to go up. Still, 85% makes me proud to call NYC home.

If you haven’t voted yet, please go do so now. Even if you’re in a state that’s clearly going to be won by Obama (like me) – this is an election you want to vote in. We want an overwhelming mandate via the popular vote and the electoral college.

So stand up and be counted!

If your in California you definitely must vote. The battle on Prop 8 is just too close – every vote may count on this one…

This morning I walked past my polling place only to see the line out the door and a considerable way down the block and the Associated Press was there filming the line. This was at 10:30 in the morning! So I went at 2pm and the line for my voting district was quite long and the AP was still there with cameras both outside and inside. Took me 35 minutes to get all the way through the line, but that could have been worse.

Got the following message tonight…

Hey Rawtop. I’ve been a long time fan of your blog.My Daddy has decided that he wants to watch me take as many loads as possible this Thursday @ Noon at my place in Antioch, Ca. (About 40 minutes from San Francisco). I’m looking for hung white and latin men to breed my hole.

The last time I had a gangbang was when I was 19 (Im 24 now) and my Daddy had 24 men over to fuck me (unfortunately with Condoms).

Attached is my pic… I’m 6’2″ 180 brown hair, blue eyes, 7″ cut thick bottom. Love to deep throat and service hung Daddy types.

Thanks Stud! Wish I lived in NY… I would take your loads everyday!

That’s sorta a weird time for a gangbang, but who knows – maybe they’ll have it going all night or something… [BTW, Antioch is East of San Francisco – go through Oakland and keep going.]

Here’s his pic…

I just can’t deal with vaginas, ergo I’m gay… My first boyfriend told me that they’re a “nice, warm, wet place” to put your dick (he was on the gay side of bi), but I never really even wanted to try it out.

The whole “ecosystem” of the vagina is another reason why they’re not appealing to me. But if you’re like me and find the whole thing sorta “icky”, but want to know more, check out this educational video featuring Amy Sedaris and props by Todd Oldham…

I also can’t deal with breasts, not real keen on long hair, and definitely don’t like femininity in my partner, so there are many reasons why I’m not straight, but vaginas are high on my list. A dick is just so much nicer…