I’ll keep this short, ’cause there’s not much to tell… This skinny black guy on Adam4Adam wanted to hookup today. He was attractive and definitely my body type. Said he wanted to get pissed on, which was fine with me.

So he comes over and he’s really hesitant, so I take the lead and rim his ass, then he gives me a blowjob. But when I go to lube up my dick and fuck him, he scoots away from my dick and tells me he doesn’t get fucked raw.

Now my Adam4Adam profile is really clear that I’m looking to bareback. I tell him as much and he says “I thought I was clear in my message”. “No, you weren’t clear. Trust me, if you had said anything like that I wouldn’t have had you come over.” He asked if I wanted him to leave and I said yes…

So he left.

I had taken a part of a pill, so now I’m all hard with no one to fuck. 🙁

Believe it or not, I woke up this morning still drunk. Not a hangover – drunk… I can’t remember the last time I drank that much…

It started with me getting out of the apartment so I didn’t have to deal with my boyfriend. I went downtown, had a chicken burger at Better Burger (they were packed at 3pm!), then wandered around town. Sat in Union Square for a while watching people go by. It’s all there – homess people mixed in with Yuppies, mixed in with parents with new kids… Even the homeless people had diversity – there was the young, hip, homeless group (sorta like hippies), and the ones that looked more like stereotypical bums.

Then I had an idea to go watch a movie, but despite walking past a bunch of theaters didn’t find anything that I wanted to watch happening near the time when I was at the theather. I just missed the showing of W. – that would have been cool.

So I wound up at Gym Bar. Ordered a Maker’s Mark on the rocks and they gave me this HUGE glass of it, though it tasted a little watered down (the ice must have melted quickly or something). Thing is, people don’t really talk to strangers at Gym, so after I had finished the burbon I left. I walked up to 23rd to see what was playing at the cinema there, but didn’t see anything I wanted to watch, so I got a muffin at Murray’s Bagels to sop up the alcohol and then went to Rawhide. [BTW, incredible muffin…]

Rawhide is just really low key and friendly. People talk to each other there – and not just in packs of friends who already know each other. The people aren’t as attractive as Gym, but if you just want to hang out and talk to people Rawhide is so much better…

Let’s see, there was a guy from Hoboken (NJ) who’d lived in Hoboken his whole life. Then there was “Juan from Weehauken” (NJ) who was really aggressive about wanting to get fucked (not my type though). Surprisingly he didn’t have much luck and was still coming onto people hours later. Both of the guys from NJ tried to convince me that they lived closer to the bar than I did.

Most of the night was spent talking to Bob – a guy who was playing pool and beating absolutely everyone. He was a bit of a pool shark. It was fascinating watching him. He’d literally miss shots to prolong the game and make people think the game was competitive. When I asked him about himself he was sorta evasive – made it sound like he had homes all over the place and just went around playing tennis and stuff. Curious guy.

All in all I had 4 Wild Turkeys and a Stella at Rawhide. All the drinks there and at Gym were pretty big. Since that study I’m doing has me tracking how much I drink I actually updated a note on my cell phone every time I got a new drink. It’s the only way I actually remember how much I drank – came out to 9.5 “standard drinks” (where a shot, a glass of wine or a bottle of beer is one standard drink).

Needless to say I was seriously drunk and it was a really good thing I didn’t drive. I had been eating all night trying to absorb the alcohol. Even left Rawhide at one point to get one of those horribly dry muffins they sell at the bake shop on 23rd & 8th, and I got a sandwich on the way to the subway. Even with all that the subway ride home was sorta miserable. I was tired, but had to keep my eyes open otherwise I’d get motion sickness.

So I get home and my bf is coming out of the building walking the dogs. And I walk the dogs with him. He had sent me a couple text messages during the day. He finally decided to read the blog thinking I was giving people intimacy and withholding it from him (he’d never read it before). The fact of the matter is we’re pretty intimate already (though not all that sexual), and the guys I fuck are often just holes to me.

When I got to the apartment I just collapsed and went to bed. When I woke amazingly I was still drunk. Not hung over… drunk.

My bf and I talked a bit. He’s cooled off, but said he was disturbed by what he read here on the blog (I didn’t ask details). Honestly, I don’t know where things stand exactly or what comes next… I’ll deal with that when I sober up…  😉

[See the update below… I did finally hear from him.]

I know a lot of you like Bare Derek’s porn blog. Friday around 6am the blog went dead with the message “Sorry, the blog at barederek.blogspot.com has been removed.”. When I tried to e-mail him Friday night I got a message saying “This account has been disabled or discontinued”.

I’m hoping everything is OK with him, but no, I don’t know what happened. All I know is last time when he took the blog private for a couple days it was because he wanted to make sure there weren’t any videos that had copyright issues. The fact that his e-mail address isn’t working makes me think he’s decided to just end it all and move on. But the fact that the URL isn’t available for reuse makes me wonder if something more serious didn’t happen.

The issue previously was that he was pulling videos from a lot of Ning sites. Ning has structured their business in a way so they’re not liable for what’s on the sites they host – the person who runs the site and the people who upload the content are liable – even the people (like Bare Derek) who use the embed codes can be liable (if they know it’s not legal and still choose to embed it). It’s all very carefully crafted by Ning’s lawyers to push the liability to everyone else.

Ning and many of the “tube sites” are a major problem for porn companies ’cause many of them blatently rip off content and then make it easy for the videos to get embedded elsewhere. I get e-mails from some of the sites saying things like “here’s the latest DVD from ____” and each scene on the DVD will be a video on the Ning or tube site. I see the same things with videos from pay sites where the latest releases from pay sites are advertised as new content on the Ning or tube site. In other words, one guy buys the DVD or pay site membership and then redistributes the content for free on his Ning or tube site. That’s just clearly wrong.

I’m not saying Bare Derek was doing anything wrong – his videos might have all been within “fair use”. I very rarely watched the videos on his site, so I really don’t have an opinion of whether his site crossed the line or not. I’m guessing he thought it was just too risky since some of the porn companies have been pursuing a sue first, ask questions later approach.

So if any of you are thinking of doing what Bare Derek did, just realize it can be legally risky…

UPDATE:

I got an e-mail from Bare Derek. He decided running the blog wasn’t worth the risk, so he shut it down. It was not the result of any legal action or anything like that. He’s fine – just moving on to other things in his life.

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Earlier this week I had a post saying I was looking for someone to help with image tagging for the porn blog. A 20 y.o. guy responded and came in on Friday for the first day of freelance work. When I told him to come in I had no clue what he looked like and my boyfriend said I should have asked for a picture since he didn’t want someone unattractive working in our apartment. He also said that I could only have sex with the guy if he could have sex with him too…

The guy shows up, and he’s totally my type – an attractive, young Latino. My boyfriend met him, before he left to go downtown to get a haircut and hang out with a friend. The two of us worked the whole day, things went well, and then at the end of the day he was sorta hanging around and we started talking. One thing lead to another and at one point I asked what sorta guys he was into. He said the opposite of him – older, beefy tops… About a minute later my dick was out and he was giving me a blowjob.

Now, the funny part is I wasn’t really intending for it to happen. Having a cute guy around working with me was more than sufficient. But he seemed to want it, so things progressed…

He gave a really good blowjob and then we moved things into the bedroom. I wanted to fuck, he seemed to want to get fucked, but I was a little worried about him being clean. I haven’t used our shower shot in years and when I pulled it out I figured out it didn’t attach to the sinks and was way too much trouble to attach to the shower. So I told him to just go and take a good shit, and I hoped for the best…

He came out, gave me another good blowjob, but I wanted to fuck him. I should mention that with no pills, I was rock hard. This kid totally did it for me…

So he gets on all fours on the bed, I lube up my dick and his hole, and I push in. I don’t get in the first few times ’cause he was really tight, but I just made sure I was lined up properly and pushed harder until I was in. Given how tight he was I was sorta surprised he didn’t have a problem taking my dick. But once I got in he seemed like he was good.

He definitely felt good. Pretty quickly I had him on his stomach with his tight little hole massaging my dick. It felt so good… I knew it wouldn’t take long to cum, so I didn’t rush it, but when it finally came, I didn’t hold back and he got a nice big load deep in his ass…

We then laid there and cuddled. He seemed to really like the quiet time. I’m guessing he likes the intimacy with someone who’s old enough to be his dad. I gotta say, I liked it too…

As he was about to leave my boyfriend came home. A business-related problem had come up late in the afternoon and my boyfriend was sorta rattled by it. After the guy had gone my bf asked me if I had had sex with the guy, I said yes, and he started railing on me for that. He was mostly upset about the other problem, but he went on the attack about the sex. Yeah, having sex with someone who you’re working with makes the situation complicated, and it wasn’t good from that point of view, but honestly – an attractive 20 y.o. Latin guy offered me his ass and I was supposed to say ‘no’?

It’s sorta a bummer that I lost a lot of the early blog posts when I migrated off Blogspot. These were the sorts of issues I was dealing with back then. My bf has a history of wanting to control my sex life. I half-way let him do it for years, but a breaking point came in early 2004. In this case he told me he didn’t want me having sex with someone who was working for me unless he could fuck the guy as well, but at the same time he says he wants someone attractive working for us.

I don’t know, it’s really complicated, and I’m sorta fed up with the whole situation. It feels like every couple weeks there’s something little between us that results in me getting out of my groove and losing a day or so of productivity with work. And 2-3 times a year there’s something like this. Next month we’ll have been together 11 years. There are things that are great about our relationship, but I honestly wonder if I wouldn’t do better if I were single.

It’s just such a pain in the ass. Why can’t he just be happy that we’ve got a hot young bottom hanging around the apartment? Now it’s all complicated. In so many ways our relationship works, but at times like this I have zero interest in fighting to keep it going. Yet breaking up after 11 years of interdendence isn’t exactly fun or easy, but that’s hardly a good reason to stay together…

So we’ll see how it turns out…

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A guy contacted me yesterday, said he saw me on XTube and wanted to hookup with me. The pics he sent along matched his stats – upper 20s, tall and thin… Pretty much just my type (except for the tall part, and he wasn’t that much taller than me)…

So we set things up so he’d come by today. He shows up, and is just like his pics – looked like he’d be a good fuck. We go into the bedroom and get down to business pretty quickly. He sucked me a little, I sucked on his nipples and then on his cock, and then rimmed him for a while. He was pretty much completely smooth and he had a great hole, so rimming him was pretty excellent…

After I had him lubed with spit I tried to just push in, but he was pretty sensitive, so I grabbed some lube and things went a little better. He still had a little trouble taking me, but I figured if he wanted to hookup with me after seeing my videos, then he didn’t expect me to be all that gentle – so I just kept fucking him and he got used to it pretty quickly. While it was hurting him he was pretty vocal and loud. I was a little worried the neighbors would hear since the bedroom is right next to the hallway, but after a while he got a little quieter.

His hole felt really good and I knew I could cum pretty easily, but didn’t want to cum too quickly so I held back a little. Then I flipped him over onto his stomach and kept fucking him. It felt better this way (usually does with skinny guys), and after a while I figured I’d just fuck him as hard as I wanted to. By this point he was taking it really well and seemed to like me wailing away at his ass, though you never can tell sometimes what they’re thinking.

The funny part was when I was finally ready to cum, I couldn’t cum all that easily. It took a while of really pounding his ass. I kept feeling like I was right on the verge of cumming, but didn’t want to slow down unless I knew I really was going to cum. Finally I could feel it boiling up in my balls, so I stopped and a few seconds later blasted a pretty big load in his ass.

He had one of those smooth, clean asses you want to felch, so I pulled out pretty quickly and his ass was a beautiful sight… He had this dribble of cum leading from his hole to his balls and about to drip off his balls. I dove in and licked it clean and then sucked a bit on his cummy hole. Damn it tasted great felching my cum out of his ass, though I did leave most of it in there.

I then laid next to him. He reached down, got his fingers all cummy and licked them clean. Then we sorta had a nice quiet time where we chatted (he asked me my name), and I sorta felt him up for a while, before it was time for him to go and he left.

He did mention that he sorta wanted to get filmed. I had thought of asking him, but then forgot. So hopefully he’ll come back next week and we’ll do it again and put it up on XTube for all to see…

It’s been a while since I got all that political on here, but I figured it was time again…  😉

I think it’s come to a point in the election where it’s clear McCain/Palin don’t have much of a clue and the calm, steady, competent choice is Obama/Biden. It’s not just about gay issues…

• Obama (and the people advise him) are better on the economy. Early in the campaign McCain admitted he didn’t know anything about the economy. When he was asked who he’d consider for Treasury Secretary the first name he mentioned was Warren Buffet – an Obama supporter. And his suggestion that the federal government pay for everyone’s bad loans is just offensive to those of us who only took on as much as we could afford. Plus, Robert Reich (I LOVE that man’s mind) is such a strong Obama supporter he supported him in the primaries, despite his history with the Clintons.
• Obama is better on foreign affairs. Why? ‘Cause it’s about diplomacy, not war. The rest of the World is rooting for Obama to win, which means he’ll have an easier time making peace, which is what we need right now.
• Obama is better on civil rights. So much has been taken away from us in regards to civil rights in the past 8 years, we need someone who will stop that and put it back where it should be.
• On every issue except gay marriage, Obama is better on gay rights. Since when is marriage our only issue? There are so many others and McCain/Palin are almost always on the wrong side of the issue, or their support for us is half-hearted at best.

Frankly, I don’t understand US voters. I mean how was it that George W. Bush won the last election? 86% of the people in Manhattan voted for Kerry. That’s about how it should have been nationwide, IMO. I don’t even understand how it could have been close, nevertheless Bush won…

Actually, I sorta do get it. Bush won the last election because of bigotry toward gays. Outlawing gay marriage is what got a lot of conservative voters to the polls and it was enough to get him elected. Think about that for a moment. We might be out of Iraq by now and not in a deep economic hole if it hadn’t been for the fact that so many straight people hate us so much that they went out of their way to make sure we wouldn’t be considered their equals.

This time around it’s racial bigotry, “the Bradley effect” might make McCain win, even though Obama is ahead in the polls. Curious how the news media is talking openly about racism this time around, but didn’t talk about homophobia last time. But again, we might have the weaker candidate win simply because of bigotry. When you think of it that way America deserves whatever misery it gets if its politics are guided by hatred and fear…

Take a look at what average Republicans are willing to say openly these days. I can see why they don’t use the word “moral” much anymore…

How can a Log Cabin (gay) Republican feel good about being a Republican when members of their party use the words like “Commie Faggot” so easily? And no one in that crowd seemed bothered by what what going on. Do you think any of those people would care if they saw you getting gay bashed?

If you’re one of those racists who just can’t see yourself voting for a black man, then as the video below points, out Obama isn’t exactly black – he’s half white. So “vote for the white half”…  🙂

Seriously… Your freedoms are at stake in this election. Three liberal Supreme Court justices are thinking of retiring. If you can’t see it any other way, vote for the candidate who will appoint the best judges.

And if you can’t say Barak Obama’s name without saying his middle name in there too… Do everyone a favor and just stay home.

The problem with democracy is that people like the woman above vote. Yet democracy is still the best system in the long run, but it only works if the voters are educated, and guess which party is best with education?

Just to push the point a little further… In last night’s debate, in the context of discussing hate speech at his political rallies, John McCain said the following…

That’s right, he said “Let me just say, categorically, I’m proud of the people that come to our rallies.” I was shocked. That said, he has corrected some of the people who’ve called Obama a Muslim and a terrorist, and been boo’d for it. So who knows what he really thinks.

That said, look what people at McCain rallies said to a reporter from Al Jazeera…

I’m sorry, but there’s way too much of that shit in the Republican party. It’s time for good Republicans to stand up and say something, but I seriously doubt that will happen. I mean Bush is killing and torturing people and simultaneously wrapping himself in the mantle of Christianity. Meanwhile real Christians, who follow the pacifist teachings of Christ, have said practically nothing. There’s a reason why I’m down on the Republicans – this stuff has been going on in their party since the 70s. I know ’cause I was at some of the Moral Majority rallies with Anita Bryant and Jerry Falwell back then. It’s gotten worse and worse and people have just gone along with the fear and hatred. It needs to stop. If we’re lucky Obama will win, things will get better, and what the hate mongers say will just sound empty, hollow and bitter.