Well, I’ve been going to the gym for about 4 months now. It’s sorta weird – I notice a change. My boyfriend notices a change. But my weight has only gone down 2 or 3 pounds and the body fat percentage my scale reports is pretty much the same – maybe 1 or 2 percent less. The change you see in the pics is sorta minor, but it’s there…

Lighting and color are better, and I guess you can see a bit more definition in my shoulders and my gut doesn’t look as big.

Once again – the difference in those pics is slight, but there is progress. It’s like a bit of my weight has shifted from my belly to my pecs and shoulders and I’m just a bit less dumpy.

Where I see the biggest progress is in my ass. I really hated how it looked before, now it’s getting close to “OK” – though it still clearly has a ways to go…

So every so slowly I’m whipping myself into shape. I know I could work harder – both exercise-wise and diet-wise – and get faster results like I did back in 1997, but the pace I’m going is sustainable, and that’s more important than anything. The worst scenario is that I burn out and stop going to the gym.

My boyfriend is away thru Monday morning. Part of me wants to be a big slut while he’s gone, but a bigger part of me just wants a quiet, relaxes, productive weekend. To that end I think I’ll skip the sex party tonight and instead go to the gym and stay in, relax and do a little work. Boring, I know, but in a way body and work come before sex these days. I’ll do some parties on Friday and Saturday…

Load 2014-21

I’ve given a couple loads since my last post including one at a sex party I hosted that was a lot of fun, but I just wanted to write up the load I gave this morning… It was totally a 10 out of 10!

I had some serious morning wood when I woke up today and wanted to fuck, but didn’t want to travel all that far for it. This young guy hit me up on BBRT and his profile said he was “0 miles” away. He said he had one load in him and was just looking for a pump-n-dump. Sounded perfect.

Unfortunately we were at opposite corners of the zip code. It was like a 20 min walk over to him – largely uphill. But when I got there it was totally worth it. The door was ajar, and this hot, young, little cumdump was on all fours with his hairy ass towards me and a blindfold on. There’s nothing I like better when I go for a hookup.

I took off my shorts and my shirt (kept on my high tops so I could leave quickly when it was done) and then pulled his ankles towards me so I could rim his hot hairy hole. You could tell he had just been fucked – his hole was loose. He seemed really clean so I sucked on his hole hoping to turn my rimming into felching, but never did taste any cum.

After a minute of two of that I was fully hard and put some spit on my dick and shoved in. Based on his profile he liked to be fucked hard, so I didn’t really have to worry much about whether I was being too rough. I fucked fairly hard and rapidly for maybe two minutes before I felt my load building. It had been 2 1/2 days since I last came, so my load was pretty big – I could feel spurt after spurt spewing into his hole.

Given the totally anonymous scene I stood up right after I came and put on my shirt and shorts and left. I loved fucking him – hopefully I can do it again soon.

The good part was that I didn’t need to put him down on his stomach for me to cum. In fact is wasn’t hard for me to cum at all. Yeah, I had taken half a Cialis yesterday, but ever since I’ve been working out my sexual abilities have improved. I have a bit more stamina (not really relevant in this case), but I can come in more positions, etc. At the sex party I gave a load to a guy who was standing up / bent over. That’s something that would have been nearly impossible before. In fact I’m so convinced about the “better fitness = better sex” that I’m going to build a fitness component into the hookup sites I’m building. Given that it will be pretty straightforward, I hope to have the fitness part up in the next month or so. The only downside to working out is I’m drained afterwards and don’t feel like having sex. But the next day I feel great.

Loads 2014-18 & 19

I’ve been bad about keeping up with my blogging. Nearly two weeks ago now I hooked up with this hot black guy. He didn’t love very close, but he was willing to travel, seemed serious about hooking up, and he said he already had a load in him and was looking for more.

I had seen some pics but wasn’t exactly sure what he was going to be like. I was pleasantly surprised – he was cute and short and had a nice body. We stripped down and I had him get on the bed so I could rim his ass. It seemed a bit “musky”, but it wasn’t like I tasted shit or anything, so after I knew it was good to go I did a bit of sucking on his hole, but never did even a hint of cum. Whatever loads he had in there were pretty deep.

Anyway, I was pretty horny that day and got hard pretty quickly, so when I figured out the rimming wasn’t going to turn into felching, I got up and started fucking him. He had one of those perky, muscular asses that rubs against your hip bones – you feel like you’re literally riding his ass. Oh, and when I got in all the way in the best word that I can think of that describes the sensation is “squish”. Whoever came inside him had dumped a BIG load in there. It felt great.

Needless to say between his perky ass, his cummy hole, and me being particularly horny, I came pretty quickly. I had taken a Cialis earlier that day, so I stayed nice and hard after cumming. So I put him on his side and slowly pumped in and out of his cummy hole for probably another 10-15 min before I finally got too soft to fuck.

The whole time I had him on his side he was slowly jacking his dick. About the only thing that sort kinda went wrong was that he came without warning. Not that I wanted him to fuck me (I liked the vibe of me as top and him as bottom), but it woulda been cool to have him stick the head of his dick in my ass as he came. There’s something about taking a load from a dedicated cumdump that’s a pretty hot.

Then a few days later I went to this sex party. The first 30-45 min were dead. There was almost no one there and the one or two other guys clearly weren’t interested in me. It was too bad, ’cause most of that time I had a raging hardon – I really wanted to fuck a hole. Then this gaggle of black guys showed up, but they only seemed interested in each other.

There was this one hot black muscle bottom who was pretty incredible and very hungry for cock. Eventually I did get to fuck him, but his M.O. was to pull off guys pretty quickly unless he was 110% into them. He seemed like he wanted to get fucked by as many guys as possible, but only wanted to take loads from guys he was really into.

I hate to say it, but I’ve forgotten who the second guy was that I fucked. But the third guy was this older piggy bottom with a decent body. I fucked him for a while. He had a good hole and liked taking dick. After fucking him my dick sorta lost all its energy, which makes me think I came in his ass and didn’t realize it.

Since my dick stopped cooperating, I finally just left and joined up with my boyfriend who had gone out drinking with friends. Wish I had fucked more guys though – that’s the problem with paying $20 for a sex party – it’s sort of a waste of money if you just stay an hour or two.

Load 2014-16

Sunday there was this mid-day gangbang I wanted to go to. The bottom seemed hot – a lean, youngish black / mixed race guy. He had asked people when they planned to arrive and I told him towards the end of the 2 hours he was going to take loads since I like fucking a cummy hole.

So Sunday morning I woke up and realized the gangbang was in a few hours and I hadn’t taken my (daily) Cialis in a few days, so I went and took one of my full strength ones – giving me about 4 hours for it to kick in. When we got up my bf asked what the plans were for the day and I told him there was a hookup I wanted to go to around 12:30 and then we could go to the gym. I didn’t want to go to the gym first since it was leg day and I knew I’d be wiped afterwards.

I drove down to Chelsea, and rang the bell and the guy on the other end trying to say something but I can’t understand him. He buzzed me up and told me the gangbang ended (prematurely) 20 or 30 min ago. Some top with a huge dick came in and gave a really rough fuck to the bottom who was “a little thing” and then the bottom couldn’t get fucked anymore.

I was bummed. I was all ready to fuck – had even taken a full Cialis and there was no gangbang. So I got online and was willing to fuck just about anything. There were a couple options. One I knew would be a decent fuck, but he didn’t get back to me in a timely manner. Then there was a guy who said he was usually a top but wanted to get fucked. He replying to me, but not with a full address. Finally this bottom hit me up – his pics looked a bit slutty. He said he had just taken two loads and wanted a third. Bingo! And he gave me his cell number, so I texted him and had an address almost immediately. I parked the car and as I walking to the bottom’s place the top finally gave me his address – too late.

I got to the bottom’s place and was a little surprised. The guy looked like an extremely clean-cut, preppy cub. And his apartment was immaculate. If he had told me he was renting the place on AirBnB I would have totally believed him. I kept thinking how the place was like hotel room that had just had maid service.

Anyway, we both took off our clothes. As I saw his body I was pleasantly surprised – the best way I could describe him is somewhere between “average” and “cub”, but with some muscles. His ass was muscular, with a deep hairy ass crack. I rimmed him hoping, with two loads in him, the rimming would turn into felching, but no such luck. In fact, if he hadn’t told me he’d just gotten fucked I would never have known – his hole was completely tight and dry.

Rimming him got me hard pretty quickly and then I lubed up and pushed in. I did my usual doggy -> then on his belly. Not sure if it was the loads in him, but his hole did feel really good and I came pretty quickly. The weird part was right before I came he told me he really liked my blog. The comment sorta came out of nowhere and given that I could feel my orgasm coming, the timing was pretty funny.

After collapsing on him for a little bit, I rolled him over and pumped in and out of his ass and then pulled out and tried to felch his ass. I didn’t try to hard, but once again his ass just wasn’t all that cummy. It’s like his hole is a sponge and hangs on dearly to every drop of cum put up it.

I had to run, so didn’t stick around. I needed to get home to go to the gym with my bf and was pushing the limit of when he expected me home.

Later he hit me up saying the previous hookups had been blindfolded, “poz cumdump” sorta hookups where he never got to see who was fucking him. While I like those types of hookups, I was glad I got to see his face. He also mentioned he does web development – so I may get together with him soon to fuck him and then discuss development stuff. It’s rare to find a proud pig who’s a competent programmer…

Load 2014-15

Yes, I know – half way through the year and I’ve only given 15 loads. That’s really bad, but I sorta knew going into this year that it would be a bad year. Hopefully I can get the hookup sites that I’m working on completed by the end of the year and then spend 2015 promoting them with sex parties and the like.

But one of the issues is that my sexual tastes are changing and when it comes to topping I’m finding nothing motivates me like a cummy hole. The last two guys I bred – both had cummy asses. It just feels really incredible to fuck a cummy ass – gets me really hard and makes me cum quickly.

So one day last week I was looking for a hole to fuck and there were a couple options. The two leading options were both in hotels. One guy was playing a bit coy and after some back and forth told me the name of his hotel but didn’t tell me the room number, while another guy got to the point quickly and told me “Manhattan Hotel, room XXX”. Problem was, I had no clue where Manhattan Hotel was and if you try to put that into Google you get every hotel in Manhattan. He then told me the cross streets and so I picked him – just because he seemed like a good pig who gets right to the point. I confirmed that I was going to come over and asked how many loads he had in him already – the said “5”. When I heard that I couldn’t wait to get there and fuck his cummy ass.

I get to the hotel and it was pretty run down. The lobby looked like the started a renovation and just stopped. When I got up to his floor the walls were all scuffed, the carpet was dirty and old. In other words it seemed like the perfect hotel for a sleazy cumdump 😉

The door was closed so I knocked. It took a while for him to answer and then I saw why – there was another top there. The bottom was what I’d call “slim, average, white guy” – but I wasn’t there to fuck Adonis – I was there to fuck a cummy hole. The top was actually pretty hot. I’d guess the low side of mid-30s, had a few tattoos, a nice lean(ish), slightly muscular body. I actually thought the top was considerably hotter than the bottom, but I was there to fuck, so that wasn’t really a factor.

While I was undressing the other top tried to get the bottom to push the cum out of his ass, but all that the bottom managed was to push some of the air out of his ass – in other words while a little cum may have come out, it was more like a fart. Then the other top had the bottom turn around and suck his dick. Once my clothes were off I wanted to felch the bottom’s ass, but he wasn’t in the best position for that, but I did just a little bit of it in this awkward position, then when I got up the other top indicated that he wanted me to fuck the guy. I thought that was a little weird since he had just worked up a hardon, but who was I to say ‘no’ to a fucking a cummy hole?

I started fucking him on all fours. His hole felt good, but I needed to reposition him. So I got him down on his belly – had to pull him back to position him. Once he was on his belly my orgasm came pretty quickly. It felt like I kept hitting bottom in his ass – or maybe it was just the “second sphincter”. Anyway, that plus the slickness of all those loads felt incredible.

As soon as I had cum I wanted to just slowly fuck his cummy ass and savor the feeling, but the other top was all horned up and wanted in, so I pulled out and he took over. I had only fucked the guy for maybe 3 or 4 min, but the other top didn’t last even that long. I kid you not when I say he fucked the bottom for maybe 30 seconds or a minute before cumming. It was almost funny how quickly the bottom got those two loads.

I confirmed with the bottom that we were loads 6 & 7, but he said no, we were loads 7 & 8. In other words, in the 30 minutes it took me to get to the hotel, the guy had taken another load as well. He was on a roll!

Once I dressed I tried to take a piss in the bathroom, but nothing came out. Then I left. These three really hot young Brazilian guys were walking in front of me. One had his arm around the other. As we waited for the elevator (which takes a while in a crappy hotel), I couldn’t tell if they were gay or straight. But they were definitely hot.

After I got home the bottom sent me a note apologizing. He said he initially thought the other top was me, but then figured out it was a guy who was supposed to come an hour earlier. The chemistry with the other top was actually pretty good, so I didn’t mind. I mean I sorta like gangbang scenes – so definitely wasn’t a problem for me.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know for a number of years there my physical appearance wasn’t on the top of my list of priorities (to put it nicely). I sorta let myself slide and in the process got heavier and heavier. Then a few years ago I started losing weight unexpectedly – about 3 pounds a month (I was a bit more active and just wasn’t as hungry). I dropped about 35 pounds that way over about a year. Then I leveled off between 215 and 220. I stayed that way until last Thanksgiving last year when I started going back up slowly. Recently I’ve been in the 225 to 229 range.

What I realized in all of this was that I’m too sedentary. While it’s nice to lose 35 pounds without really trying, eventually it comes back so I need to do more. Plus, on top of everything else, I’m not happy with my stamina – especially when it comes to sex. I cum quickly because I’ve learned if I wait too long I can’t cum – I just sorta run out of steam. Same goes for my erections. I’m not going to pass judgment on others, but being a bear just doesn’t suit me. I don’t enjoy it.

So as of a couple weeks ago now, I’m now back at the gym. My goal is to #1 increase my cardio health, #2 reduce fat (particularly around my waist), and #3 build strength and muscle.

My running out of steam should be helped by all three. Better cardio health will improve endurance and blood flow. Blood flow is related to erections, so that’s a plus. My favorite position is with the bottom on his belly – but that means I have to support my entire weight as I hover above them. Weighing less (#2) will help, and being stronger (#3) will help me support myself more easily. And who knows – I may find with my “new body” that there are other positions I like. I mean I remember when I was in my 20s I used to love to have a bottom with his legs in the air. Maybe I’ll go back to liking that. And I remember when I was stronger literally tossing bottoms around the bed when I wanted them in a different position.

So I’m expecting things to improve for me sexually. But I realize it’s going to take time. I have a scale that tells me body fat percentage. It’s not terribly accurate, but it gets in the ballpark. Right now it’s telling me I’m carrying about 70 pounds of fat on me. But back in the day when I was in good shape I had about 30 pounds of fat on me. So the ultimate goal is to lose 40 pounds of fat. (If I manage to gain some muscle, total weight loss will be less than that). However, I look decent when I’m around 200 lbs and carrying 40 pounds of fat on me – that’s how I was when I did Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend (10 years ago now). So even losing 25 pounds (30 lbs of fat plus gaining 5 of muscle) would be great, but I’d like to lose more than that if I can.

When I was younger (late ’90s) I lost about 20 pounds in 3 months and then kept going down – 40 pounds after 7 months, etc. I’m older and being a little less rigorous with my diet this time, so I’m not expecting to go down that quickly this time, but hopefully by New Year’s I can be in decent shape (around 200 lbs or a little less) and then lose the rest early next year.

After not going to the gym for probably 12-15 years, I was actually a bit shocked at how weak I’ve gotten. I used to be able to lift quite a bit more weight. I mean it makes sense when you think about it, but you don’t really notice it when the muscle is fading away. The only exception is my legs – they’re still relatively strong.

The problem is that the way I was taught to do weights when I was in college was to go to failure on every set (while being careful about form). That sort of workout is exhausting when you haven’t been to the gym in 10+ years. Right now I can barely walk ’cause I did a leg workout a couple of days ago. My quads are killing me. And if it’s not my legs, then I’ve probably done some upper body exercise and holding my arms up is difficult.

So oddly, right at the moment, working out is killing my sex life. It’s hard to even sit in a chair and do work. The idea of expending energy to fuck someone is just out of the question. But hey, it’s temporary, and in the end my sex life will be better, right? The question is how much better… We’ll see…

I forgot to take before pictures. I didn’t take any until I’d been working out for a week and a half, but for the record, here’s where I stand as of a few days ago… I’ve got a lot of work to do to whip this into shape…