Load 2013-48

Not sure why I didn’t figure this out sooner, but I’ve come to the conclusion that sex with friends just doesn’t work for me. I like things anonymous. When I get to know someone my dick just doesn’t respond. I mean my boyfriend and I don’t have sex anymore – we’re joined at the hip in many ways, but it’s not really a sexual relationship. I tried fucking a good friend a few years ago and that didn’t go so well – just couldn’t cum with him. I have a really bad track record with Jayson Park even though I think he’s incredibly hot – but we’re friends and hang out socially sometimes. There was the anonymous Latin bottom I used to fuck, but I got pretty unpredictable with him as I got to know him. There was the hot black athlete a few months ago who hung out with me and my bf a few times after we’ve hooked up – only came the first time with him despite the fact that he’s really hot. The list goes on and on…

But most recently is the black fuck bud from the neighborhood. I used to cum every time with him. Now I’m hit or miss. Fucked him again on Saturday morning. While we were stripping down he started asking me about how my Thanksgiving was and I just shut down the conversation with a “it was fine”. I knew if we started into personal chit chat that it wouldn’t go well. We fucked and I did give him a load, but I almost didn’t. Things weren’t working quite right in part because he kept bucking back but I finally got into this one position where the head of my dick was getting massaged just right and I finally did cum – but it almost didn’t happen.

Compare that to the muscular little Latino who I fuck. Been fucking him for years now and still don’t know his name. We never have substantive conversations. And I cum every time with him. And I love sex parties and bathhouses. I don’t always cum but they’re tons of fun and my dick has plenty of energy. And dark room pump-n-dumps are some of my favorite fucks. The more anonymous, the harder my dick and the bigger my load.

So the moral of the story is, if you want to be my fuck buddy, just stick to sex – be a hole for me and nothing more. Or, if you really want to get to know me, that’s fine – just realize the sexual part will probably die.

Just found an “open letter to Sean Cody” over at Queerty. The guy is bitching at Sean Cody for going bareback – he’s literally “distraught” about it. But look at what he says and you can see he knows bareback is better. Here are some quotes from his letter (emphasis and [commentary] are by me)…

I know that for years the straight adult film business has gone condom-less. Condom-less porn is hot. There is no denying it. In my own life, I always use condoms until I know someone for a very long time and even then you wonder, right? But guys, seriously, I am worried about your site. I am in my 30s and I have literally heard 18-year-olds say the following: “If I get something, it doesn’t matter. I go get on pills and I’m fine.” I actually moved over and got in the middle of this conversation at a bar. My buddies thought I was an idiot, but I wanted to understand.

So I asked them, “Why do you think not using a condom is okay?” The answer came, “Dude, no one wears condoms anymore that was like 10 years ago when you had to.” I said what the heck. Another guy, who looked to be about 20, jumped in to add, “Well, the porn companies stopped using them.”

Wow. So you see that at least in some cases these “kids” are watching porn and then thinking it’s okay. No one looks at the brief warnings you put at the beginning of the videos when you are horny, guys. I mean, look, it is hotter. …

Get with the facts. As a bottom, you can’t tell if a guy is wearing a condom or not. [That’s useful info!] I will admit as a top I don’t love wearing a condom, but I do it anyway because it is the right thing to do for me and my partners.

… I am sure I am going to receive a form letter from you that says something like “every performer is tested before the shoot and then retested” or some crap like that. But most guys who has seen one of your movies does not have the foggiest notion about all that. And even if he does, what are the chances that it will be on the top of his mind when he meets a guy while out drinking at a bar? Instead, it’s the image of the allure of raw sex that will be emblazoned in his mind. And this means me, too: I’ve fantasized about some of your guys at the very moment of decision when I’m with a guy. Even for me, it’s getting harder and harder (pardon the pun) to put aside the image. I’ve stopped watching a lot of your raw videos for that very reason: to avoid the temptation in my own sex life. By watching hot, healthy-looking guys going at it in porn I risk desensitizing myself to the dangers, especially since nowadays, the dangers can seem far in the future.

A lot of men of all ages no longer understand how dangerous HIV remains, but particularly young men who have not seen AIDS kill. They see HIV-positive friends (and even some porn models) thriving with treatment. And that’s good. But HIV still damages your body, and the treatment can be toxic over the long term.

So bottom line – young guys see the reality of HIV today – that it’s a pretty manageable disease and because they don’t fear HIV, they bareback – because it’s hotter than having sex with a condom.

If you were a marketer trying to sell people on the idea of safe sex that letter’s gotta be pretty discouraging though. Even the guys who are anti-bareback keep complimenting it saying how hot it is. The guy who wrote the letter is even going as far as not watching bareback porn ’cause he thinks it’ll make him want to bareback.

So to the guy who wrote the letter – Dude – you already want to bareback. You’re craving it. Just relax and enjoy your life. You only go around once. In 10 years when you’re in your 40s you’ll regret that you didn’t bareback more when you were younger. The guys who become poz today will have a very different experience than the guys who became poz years ago (provided they get tested regularly and find out quickly). And if you’re still worried – go on PrEP…

How long do you guys think it’ll be before the guy starts barebacking on a regular basis? I give him a year – two at the most.

The blogger over at Manhunt Daily is saying that, with this picture of Mike Dozer and Charlie Harding, bareback porn has stepped over the line and is now socially irresponsible…

He thinks it’s inappropriate for barebackers to call people names for using condoms.

I find it rather funny that someone at Manhunt is using the term “socially irresponsible”. Dude – your boss gives money to Republicans who fight against gay rights. That’s way more irresponsible than a porn star’s tank top could ever be. But lets move past that point and think about what he’s saying…

The denialist approach (just for laughs)

Problem? What problem?

Mike’s t-shirt simply says that condoms are for vaginas – it’s an affirmation that straight people should be using condoms for pregnancy prevention. He’s standing with AHF, CalOSHA and others and speaking out against the rampant levels of barebacking in straight porn.

[Update: Actually, it seems a version of this is actually the truth – Joe Spunk apparently talked to Charlie Harding and they saw a commercial promoting safe sex that said “condoms are for pussies”. They laughed and concluded that since neither of them had a pussy then they didn’t need a condom. In other words the whole thing is a joke.]

Or…

It looks to me like the image has clearly been photoshopped. Mike would never wear a t-shirt like that.

My view…

The first question that comes to my mind is “do we even want porn to be socially responsible?” Personally I feel like that’s too heavy a burden to put on something like porn. I guess if you come from the perspective of condom porn you may think that porn is just entertainment. But bareback porn has its (post-AIDS crisis) roots in free speech. The bareback porn stars of the late ’90s were vilified for what they did on camera, but they did it because they believed that consenting adults should be able to do whatever they wanted with their own bodies.

The other thing is – the t-shirt is a bit of a joke. I mean calling someone a pussy is hardly a first class put-down. It’s very 3rd grade school yard, or Mrs. Slocombe. If you don’t have thick enough skin to deal with that t-shirt, then you have issues. After all the punches barebackers have taken over the years from “condom nazis” that t-shirt is barely a playful slap in the face in retaliation. So, sorry Manhunt – I’m not feeling your pain. I’ve been called FAR worse names than ‘pussy’ for my choice to bareback. Just deal with it.

So bottom line – IMHO, Mike Dozer’s t-shirt is just playful free speech.

The other side…

On the other hand, if bareback porn is allowed to be socially irresponsible we need to make sure that there is adequate information available for people to make informed choices about using condoms vs. barebacking. I do that via things like the HIV/AIDS & Sexual Health Forum on Breeding Zone, while Manhunt does sexual health advocacy via Manhunt Cares. I give them a big thumbs up for that initiative, though where they seem to be failing is in driving traffic to the site. If no one sees it, what’s the point? It seems like it’s just a CYA sort of initiative. They have a crazy amount of traffic – they need to do better integration of ManhuntCares.com into Manhunt.net, etc.

At the end of the day it was just a t-shirt. If you’re doing a good job of giving sexual health information to your audience then it’s really not a big deal. Get over it.

Check out some of the scenes with Mike Dozer. His body keeps changing, but he always looks hot!

I was thinking of posting this over on the porn blog, but it’s not really bareback porn…

Back when I used to use condoms I often had a problem with them slipping down my dick. I remember one time back in the early 90s this guy picked me up in a bar one night and we went back to his place on the Lower East Side. Anyway, when I pulled out the condom was just barely hanging onto the head of my dick. Back then I was all about safe sex, so I was rather mortified, but the guy I was fucking didn’t seem to care.

As time went on and I started experimenting with bareback and I sorta liked the fact that the condom would nearly slide off my dick – much like these pics where Tim Kruger (from Tim Tales) fucks Esteban del Toro. Tim starts with the condom rolled most of the way down his dick. Remember – if your goal is to have the condom slip off, there’s no point in rolling it all the way down your dick – you just need it on well enough that the bottom is happy with what he sees.

Then has he’s fucking the condom starts slipping off his dick…

And then by the time he’s done, the bottom is in a zone and oblivious to the fact that the condom is nearly completely off the top’s cock…

So how do you make it so the condom will slip off your dick? It’s really simple actually… Lube your dick really well before putting on the condom. If your dick is slick the condom will have a hard time staying put – it’ll start moving around and down your dick. Putting a little lube in the tip of the condom before you put it on your dick helps in this regard – the more lube you have between the condom and your dick the easier it will slip off.

If the condom doesn’t slip off fast enough you can always reach down and jack your dick a little and help it move down your dick.

And when you pull out after cumming, remember to act surprised that the condom slipped off. Hey, accidents happen…

If you’re a bottom who’s top wants to wear a condom – just take charge of putting the condom. Lube up your top’s dick and put a little lube in the condom “to make it feel better” before putting on the condom. Putting a magnum sized condom on a guy with a regular dick can be a compliment to him and help the situation as well. Then you can always reach around to “check the status of the condom” – to make sure it works it’s way down the top’s dick.

Load 2013-33

I think I’ve figured out why I don’t feel my cumshot sometimes – but more on that in a moment. Today I wanted to fuck, so I took a Cialis and it kicked in quicker than I was expecting (see pic). Problem was I then had problems finding a bottom who I wanted to fuck. New Yorkers work a lot and looking for hole in the middle of the day is a lot harder than nights and weekends – especially when you want to host and you’re not in a gay neighborhood or in a neighborhood with a lot of office workers.

This one guy kept hitting me up. I knew I wasn’t all that into him but he was so persistent and no one else was biting, so finally after saying ‘no’ I gave in and said yes. Then he started having second thoughts since he was traveling and I just wanted a quickie, but then when I said “let’s forget it” he said he was out the door and on his way.

He shows up and he looks older than I was expecting. His profile said he was 2 years older than me. He looked 10 years older. He knew he was just a hole to me. He comes in strips down. He had talked about being hooded so I gave him a hood to put on.

I started by having him suck my dick. I’m not sure he really liked sucking with the Prince Albert in – he only seemed to do a so-so job but it was enough to get me hard (thanks to the Cialis).

He said it was OK to take pics or whatever I wanted. So I pulled out my phone and snapped a couple pics of his sucking and then put it in video mode. I didn’t shoot much video and it was just with the iPhone, but I’ve put it up on Raunchy Fuckers if you want to have a look.

Then I lubed up and went fucked him. I shot a little video of the beginning of the fuck and then put down the phone and concentrated on the fuck. Since I didn’t really like him and he knew he was just a hole I wasn’t particularly gentle fucking him. I did long strokes which, with the PA, means the ball on the bottom of my dick was going in and out of his ass. He was pretty loose and didn’t seem to have much trouble taking it – though I think it was intense enough that he felt it. He made some comment about it being the first time he’d gotten fucked with a PA.

He was pretty verbal at first, but then asked if I liked him being verbal – I said “whatever – you’re just a hole to me” – at which point he got quiet.

I could feel my orgasm building and I was about to cum then I didn’t feel the cumshot. Ugh. Right about that time the bottom pushed his ass up a bit which was really bad timing. I figured I hadn’t cum and so I continued fucking him. Shortly after I wanted to remove the PA as a possible reason why I didn’t cum, so I took it out. Thanks to the Cialis I was able to keep going, but I did start getting softer.

I was a little frustrated thinking I hadn’t cum. I was sweating like a motherfucker – I mean sweat was literally pouring off me. So here I was overheated, hadn’t cum and my dick was starting to go a bit soft. It wasn’t good.

I pulled out and told the bottom to suck my dick, but he refused saying he doesn’t suck dick once it’s been in his ass. Whatever (it seemed pretty clean to me). So I started playing with his ass. He was loose so I put more and more fingers up him until I had about 4 fingers in him. If I had smaller hands I could have fisted him – I was getting pretty deep inside him as it was.

I then went back to fucking him, but wasn’t all that hard. Since he was loose I figured I’d put on my cock sheath and fuck him with that. That didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I didn’t really feel much of anything and I wasn’t all that hard. The sexual energy was sorta dying, so I finally gave up and ended things.

Once again my dick was acting like it had cum, so that usually means I did indeed cum. Then it struck me – the common factor in the fucks when I haven’t felt my cumshot lately – it’s my PA – in particular the curved barbell. I’m thinking PA takes up so much space in my urethra that the cum can’t shoot out – it has to trickle out. I’ve noticed this with pissing – I piss more slowly with the PA in.

I like fucking with the PA, but it seems like it’s a choice between that and feeling my cumshot. Hmmmm –  not sure which to choose…

Load 2013-25

There’s a sub bottom who’s been hitting me up for a while now. Finally yesterday things worked out and we were able to fuck. What put a smile on my face was he asked if I was going to videotape it. I figured “what the hell… I really should be videotaping more of my fucks”, so I said yes and got things ready.

He had hit me up via text, so I hadn’t gotten a chance to study his profile before he got here. All I remembered was that he was really sub and he’d be up for S/M. He did mention that he wanted to be hooded for the video, so I got out a hood for him and for me as well as puppy mitts for him.

I put a hood him while he was stripping down and then put mine on and turned on the camera. He started by sniffing my pits, and licking me a bit. I had sweat when I did a little tanning before he got there, so I was probably a bit musky – but in a good way (I think). He seemed to get into it.

My intention was to lay back and let him suck me and get me hard, etc. I had gone out to jockstrap night at the Eagle the night before and was still a bit hung over. I really wasn’t sure how I was going to perform. But when I told him to get on the bed he got on all fours with his ass up. That always gets me going, so instead of him sucking on my dick, I sucked on his hole.

And of course once I had his hole lubed up with spit the next logical thing was fucking him. I was just shooting with natural daylight so I had to reposition a bit. And I probably should have used some lube, but I just went with spit. There were all these things I wasn’t doing as planned, but it felt right in the moment.

One thing I did know was that he was neg as of a test a couple months ago. So I was pretty verbal with him about raw fucking his neg hole. At one point I even said “You want my dirty load up your neg hole boy?” And he came back with “Yes SIR” – like a good sub should always answer. Even though I’m neg it’s always hot breeding neg guys. I love the risk they take getting fucked raw. (But more on him being neg in a bit…)

Even though I’ve been wearing my big Prince Albert lately I took it out to fuck. Guys were tugging on it all night at the Eagle the night before and it was rather sore. And as it turned out it was good I did take it out. Typical for me I came pretty quickly and he got a HUGE 5 or 6 day load. But then when I pulled out I figured out he was dirty. UGH! For being dirty it wasn’t too bad – didn’t get on the sheets or anything. But just imagine if I had been wearing my PA – it would have been covered in shit right then. To complicate matters I had to get the puppy mitts and hood off him while standing there with shit on my dick. Needless to say I did it as quickly as possible.

Don’t get me wrong – “shit happens” – I wasn’t upset with him or anything. It was just a complication. We went to the bathroom and I washed off my dick and gave him a portable douching bulb which he used to clean out some more. Meanwhile I went back to the bed, laid down and jacked my dick a bit.

When he came back I hooded us again, turned the camera back on and we got back down to business. While it was a bit backwards it was at this point we did some foreplay. (Is it still foreplay if it happens after you cum?) He sucked my dick a bit, and licked my pits, etc. As he was licking my pits his cock was rock hard and pushing at my hole. He wasn’t getting in my hole, but he did manage to make it clear that, if SIR wanted to get fucked, it was an option.

Then I moved him around into a 69 position to rim him. Usually guys suck on my dick in this position – and he did a little, but what we was mostly interested in was rimming my ass…

For a sub bottom he had a rather big top streak in him 😉

After a while I got a bit of a second wind and I put him on his belly and fucked him a bit more. Thing was I had already cum, so it wasn’t the most intense of fucks and I didn’t cum – it was more of a play fuck.

You can tell in that pic (and one I posted on Twitter) that, while I’ve got a ways to go to be “in shape”, I’m in way better shape than I was a year+ ago. I’ve been a little frustrated since I haven’t lost weight since Thanksgiving, but I do want to get back to the gym in a few weeks with the goal of being a lot closer to “in shape” by MAL in January.

Anyway, getting back to the hookup… We then cuddled a little bit, then finally turned off the camera, took off our hoods and laid there a little more talking, etc. At one point I got hard again and fucked him a bit more (off camera). While I had my dick in him that last time I asked “So I see in your profile you’re neg, but you’re taking raw dick…” He said I was the first guy to cum in his ass in a long time (years) and prior to that he had only gotten bred by boyfriends. There was only one regular fuck buddy he’s been seeing for years that fucks him raw and the guy pulls out when he cums. I was a little shocked – usually I think of barebacking as a one-way street – once you do a bit of it you want more, and then a little more, and a little more, etc. But here was someone who didn’t do that. He said he trusted me because he’s been reading my blog for years and I seem honest – and I’m on PrEP so he was pretty sure I really was neg.

Still, he’s a sub bottom who pokes his rock hard cock at your hole. And he’s a bareback bottom who’s managed to say ‘no’ to more barebacking (at least taking loads). And he’s in a really femmy profession but not femmy himself. He’s definitely got some unexpected elements to him.

Since he’s up for video hopefully we’ll hookup pretty regularly. When I get a chance I’ll edit the video and put the full version on rawTOP.tv and a shorter clip on RaunchyFuckers.com.

Oh yeah – there’s one hookup (with another neg bottom) that I haven’t written up yet. I think there’s going to be a part 2 to that hookup, so I’ll write it up then.