So I hooked up today with someone who’s within walking distance. After I said ‘yes’ to him I started wondering whether it was a good idea. I hadn’t taken any type of “enhancement” pill in a couple days and I had eaten just an hour or so before. Sometime it seems like my dick gets food coma or something. Sometimes I think my blood flow is going to my digestive track rather than my cock.

Anyway, he comes over and we get down to business. I eat out his ass. It’s a bit hairy, but not too much so. Actually here’s  a pic… (He wanted me to take pics/videos…)

His hole was a nice hole to rim. But unfortunately my dick wasn’t really cooperating. I got up and tried to take a video of sticking my dick into his ass, but I just wasn’t hard enough. I took out my PA and started over rimming him and then fucking him.

I did finally get in him, and gave him an “OK” fuck I guess. Then it would sort of peter out, and I’d stop and rim him some more. Then I’d fuck him again, etc. That repeated several times… I did a few quick videos and I put one of them up on my tube site (click to see it)… The video is just taken with my iPhone, and while I’ve lost 30 pounds, my gut keeps getting in the way of the camera – lol… [I need to lose more weight…]

As you can see, I’m hard enough to fuck, but not fully hard. It just wasn’t my day… Finally I just told him I didn’t think I could cum and he started jacking off while sucking on my dick. When he came I scooped up some of his cum with my fingers and fingered my ass with it. While I have almost zero interest in getting fucked, having a little bit of some stranger’s cum in my ass was sorta hot. That got me a bit boned, so I went back to fucking him…

But that fuck was just a repeat of the others… I was hoping for better results, but finally just gave up.

I owe the guy a load… He was a decent fuck, and within walking distance… But I was just having a bad day…

So after the flop with the bottom I intended to have as my fuck boy for the weekend, I wound up making a connection with the bottom who was at the Friday morning gangbang. In many ways he wasn’t at all my “ideal type”, but what I find is that on weekends like MAL I tend to go for guys who have a certain approach to sex – in particular they respond very strongly to touch. Caress them and they just snuggle up to you. That, and an intense desire to get fucked trumps having a perfect body, etc.

Here are some pics of him that I snapped one morning…

You can see he’s even got a hairy back – something which is usually a turn off for me, but somehow I didn’t mind it with him…

You can’t see it in the pics so much, but he had some muscle on him. It felt nice to feel the curves in his shoulders and arms. And he had pretty powerful legs. In many ways he was built sorta like I am now, only with a bit more of a gut.

But what attracted me to him was that he seemed emotionally needy. I know that may sound like a weird compliment, but he craved attention and I liked giving it to him.  I remember a similar (though brief) connection with a pup I met at the first MAL I went to 3 years, and then with the beefy “Canadian Sub” I hung out with at the last MAL I went to 2 years ago. While the pup was cute and young, it usually seems rare for me to have connections like that with young “hot” guys.

And it wasn’t like I was giving him all that much attention. I mean he was constantly making (positive) comments about my body, my dick, my musky body odor, etc. but I wasn’t all that verbal with him. Instead, the attention I showed him was more physical – lots of touch, and just wanting to spend time with him…

One thing about him that was a bit amusing was his love of bear/pup stuff. He loved to say “woof”. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond. I mean that level of bear play isn’t something I really get into. At the same time it was sorta cute that he was doing it. I just wasn’t going to “woof” back at him. I probably should have gotten into a little puppy play with him. I tried flogging him at one point but my mojo was rattled a bit when he told me my aim was off and I was wrapping his neck/shoulder. I pride myself in not doing stuff like that. The conditions weren’t quite right – it was hard to get a good swing in with all the furniture in the way, but still I shouldn’t have made that mistake. And I definitely should have videotaped some of our fucks. He said he would be into it, but I never set up the camera for one reason or another. There were a number of things I coulda/shoulda done with him that I didn’t, but I was happy just to spend quiet time with him, fucking him…

The first day after he got the 6 loads in the morning gangbang he went with PortaUrinal and me to a diner he knew about for breakfast. He needed to get some sleep before going to work. I needed some sleep too, so we came back to my room and slept much of the afternoon. Whenever I’d have a hardon I’d just wake him up by sticking my dick in his ass and fucking him. That pretty much was typical of the entire weekend. We spent a lot of time togehter – he was with me Friday during the day. Then he went to work, then he was with me from the wee hours of the morning on Saturday until he had to work that night. Then he came back after work and stayed all of Sunday. Sunday night I slept alone ’cause I needed a good sleep for the drive back to NYC, but he came by after I got up, got a couple loads, and then we went out for brunch. So he was nearly my constant companion for MAL… It was nice… I mean we fucked A LOT, and there was a good connection…

He had a nice hole – it felt good. But there was something about his hole that never got me to cum in his ass – it just didn’t rub my dick quite right or something. That’s actually sorta typical for me with beefy guys – I’m not sure why. I mean other guys had no problem cumming in him – so it wasn’t him per se. We tried all sorts of stuff. I tried a pig hole on him – but it seemed a bit big for him. Then we tried my cock sheath on him. I was surprised at how easily he could take that. That actually felt really good – and the head of my dick was hitting something and I nearly came. Then one morning he decided he would get the pig hole in him, so he put it up there, but when I stuck my dick in him he had this intense sensation and came without even touching himself like 10 seconds later. I never really got to fuck him properly that time.

I now wonder if I didn’t cum in his ass at some point – I mean I fucked him a lot and I got close a number of times – and there have been times in the past when I cum and don’t realize it. It was a bit of a bummer that I couldn’t cum easily with him. I would have liked to have given him load after load. But he seemed happy just with all the fucking. And in a way I did give him loads – they just weren’t mine. He got 6 loads Friday morning, and then another 2 loads Monday morning. He was good about taking loads – he wasn’t really into some of the tops (especially the black guys), but he took their loads to please me…

In hindsight one thing I would have like to do would be give him a sleeping pill and invite guys over to fuck him while he was semi-knocked out. Thing was, I didn’t think I had sleeping pills, when I actually did have them. I had seen this little container on the floor after one of the gangbangs and didn’t really investigate was it was. Finally I looked at it and saw a bunch of pills, but didn’t google their markings to figure out what they were. The morning I was leaving DC I finally looked up the markings on the pills. Turns out there 3 types of sleep aids in there, including Ambien, plus some other stuff. If I had known I had Ambien I would have given him one and watched as guys fucked him when he was just semi-conscious. I gotta say I did like see him getting fucked by other guys – it always seem to get me hard…

The one confusing thing about him was that he told me he was neg, but he didn’t really want to talk about it. I brought the subject up a few times in different ways, but he never really shared how he felt. So I’m thinking either he just doesn’t want to think about the risk he’s taking, or he’s actually poz and lied just to be one of my gangbang bottoms. He did tell me that he had talked to someone who told him I only hooked up with neg guys. That’s not true – what was true was that my goal was to only have neg guys as my gangbang bottoms, but I’m fine with fucking poz guys… I’d say most of the guys I fuck are poz.

The one load he did get from me was a piss load – I filled his ass with piss at one point. It was  big load too… Like PortaUrinal, he’s a piss bottom, but after hearing PortaUrinal say my piss was too strong for him, the cub didn’t want to drink any either – which was too bad…

He was actually pretty versatile. He kept playing with my ass and suggesting he should fuck me. Now that the doctor says my fissure is healed, I guess I could have let him fuck me, but it’s rare for me to even think about bottoming let alone do it. And that weekend wasn’t one of those times…

So all in all it was a good weekend in part because of the cub… I like having these sort of “weekend boyfriends” on sex party weekends. PortaUrinal is great company (we had adjoining rooms and spent a lot of time together), but having someone to sleep with and stick your dick in every time it gets hard, is pretty nice 😉

I’ve been in a really melancholy mood lately. Nothing is wrong, I just feel like I want to get work done and be quiet and by myself most of the time. I haven’t been hooking up as much lately, but I’m still hooking up every now and then… I thought I’d quickly relate the last two hookups that didn’t go so well, and then add a third in for good measure (since two strikes doesn’t make as much sense)…

So the theme here is hot guys who don’t manage to get me off…

First up is Jayson Park… Jayson is really pretty hot – he’s got pretty much an ideal body – he’s thin/lean with decent definition, and he’s an eager bottom… Should get me off right? Well, I fucked him, and fucked him, and fucked him. Overheated and had to stop several times, but even though I hadn’t cum in something like 4 or 5 days, I just couldn’t cum with him. It’s happened before with him. In fact more than half the times I’ve fucked him I haven’t been able to cum. It doesn’t make sense – he’s totally my type – but it just doesn’t work out (most of the time).

I did get a whole bunch of video out of it… Here’s a pic from the video…

One thing I realized (not sure why it took me so long to fully realize it) – is that Jayson is a pretty dominant bottom. He’s definitely not submissive. I mean he tries to get into a submissive mindset sometimes – but it’s work for him. Being the dominant top I am I wanted to make him submit, so I blindfolded him and put on restraints and locked his wrists together. I knew he wouldn’t go for more than that – even that was stretching it a bit for him…

Not sure if you can tell all that well by looking at that pic – but I’ve lost a fair amount of weight. I’m a little surprised it looks like I have such a belly in that pic – when I stand up straight it’s not so pronounced. But that’s still a lot thinner than I was 6 or 12 months ago. The holidays (and my melancholy mood) are kicking my butt when it comes to weight loss. Right now I’m just trying to not gain weight. I’ll try getting back to weight loss again next year.

That was actually almost two months ago now. Then there were the latest two hookups – again with hot guys, but I didn’t get off…

First was a couple of weeks ago now – a black guy who I’ve been wanting to fuck for probably a year or more now. We used to live a few blocks from each other but timing always sucked. Anyway, he came over for a quickie on his way to work. I was surprised he was so tall, but otherwise he was pretty much what I was expecting. GREAT body. Eager to get fucked. But once again he was sort of a dominant bottom. He kept trying to call the shots. At one point I was in a groove and he started bouncing up and down – for god’s sakes – why do bottoms do that? I had to tell him to stop and lay still… Anyway I was turned on but couldn’t cum. He jacked off and then ran off to work (he was late).

Then the last guy was a week ago. On paper he’s not quite my type – but I still found him incredibly hot. He was this hairy, tattooed little muscle bear. His hair was so thick you couldn’t see some of his tattoos clearly. Just that day I had gotten an Oxballs Pig Hole, and when I realized his hole wasn’t rubbing my dick quite right and his hole was semi-loose I figured I’d try it out on him. Problem was the Pig Hole felt too much like wearing a rubber. It didn’t have enough lube inside so it felt dry and uncomfortable. I gave him a good long fuck, and later took out the Pig Hole and kept trying, but never could cum with him.

The only thing I really found wrong with that guy was that he was a heavy smoker. To a point the muskiness of it was a turn on, but at other times it was a bit too much. If I were a bottom I could see getting fucked by him – he had that sort of vibe about him. And at the end he was even admiring my ass – wanting to fuck me…

So now the “out” part… For a couple days I’ve felt a “sensation” now and again but didn’t think anything of it. Then last night I noticed discharge. UGH… I didn’t get a chance today, but tomorrow morning I’ll run to the STD clinic and get treated. So I’m out of commission for the next week. In a way it’s decent timing since I’ve got a busy next week…

The weird part was that I told the furry guy about it – going as far as saying that I suspected I got it from him since the timing was right and I haven’t been fucking much. His responses seemed appropriate, etc. though I found it odd that it seemed like he was always online… He knew he had been at least exposed to an STD and yet he was still looking to hookup with guys. Then as soon as I had read his second reply he blocked me before I could reply. I really have no clue what’s up with him, but I’m not sure I’d want to hookup with him again anyway. I prefer guys who are a bit more conservative about STDs.

Speaking of STDs, there’s an eBook out now that supposedly tells you all natural things you can take/eat that makes you immune to STDs. Apparently they’ve found breast milk and some other stuff actually kill STDs and so they go into stuff (other than breast milk) that can also kill STDs. It’s put out by straight guys and the sales pitch is incredibly gimmicky, but I think I’ll give it a try. With MAL coming up I could use some STD protection. And by the end of MAL I’ll know if it works or not.

So between fucking the little muscular Latino those two times there were two weeks when I either couldn’t have sex or just wasn’t really in the mood to have sex. NYC got hit with  hurricane and we had a bunch of people from “SoPo” (South of Power) staying with us. Between that and the subways not running most of that time, hooking up was pretty much impossible. Then there was a week where I didn’t really feel like fucking.

Anyway, about a week ago I did a hookup. First one guy wanted to come over – someone I’ve seen online for years and thought would be a good fuck. But then this vers guy from the neighborhood wanted to come over too. The guy from the neighborhood was beefy and I wasn’t sure whether I was really in the mood for beefy… Actually, I hadn’t taken a pill of any sort, and was only sorta in the mood to hookup. But it had been 10 days since I’d fucked anyone and I felt like that was too long and I should fuck someone. Long story short I told both of them to come over. I figured me and the beefy guy would fuck the other guy.

The beefy guy arrived first. We started playing around, and one thing lead to another and then I was rimming him, and then fucking him… He was actually a pretty good fuck – much better than I had anticipated. Then the other guy texted saying he was off the subway and close by, so I stopped fucking the beefy guy and prepared for the other guy.

The second guy wanted an anonymous scene where he was blindfolded. So I put a leather “sleeping mask” sort of thing on the door knob just inside the front door. When he rang I buzzed him in and then watched him discreetly as he put on the blindfold. When he had it on I guided him (carefully) to the bedroom.

I should mention that the blindfolded bottom didn’t exactly look like his pictures. I should have expected as much – the pics he was using were the ones he used years ago. Honestly, he just wasn’t what I was hoping for / expecting. I fucked the blindfolded bottom, the beefy guy fucked him. But the chemistry was lacking. It wound up with me wanting to fuck the beefy guy but there was another bottom laying there expecting attention. The beefy guy was having “performance issues”. I could tell from the look in his eyes he didn’t really want the blindfolded bottom there – he (also) wanted a 1-on-1 with me.

After a while I just sorta lost it and couldn’t get hard enough to fuck, and the beefy guy got the same way. We tried, but it just wasn’t working. Even with his blindfold on, the other bottom got the picture, so he took the blindfold off and we wrapped things up, got dressed and they went on their way.

As they were leaving I started feeling weird. I felt “foggy” – like I couldn’t remember everything I should be able to remember and just a little disoriented. If I focused on something (like the situation at hand), I could get through it, but I just didn’t feel “sharp” and alert – at all. There are a few possibilities… Maybe one of them gave themselves a booty bump and I ingested some of what they had up their butt. When I googled the symptoms I came up with a “Transient Ischemic Attack”. I have high blood pressure and heart-related things are an issue (long term), but that didn’t quite seem right either. Then I realized I hadn’t eaten much of anything. After eating some food I felt better an hour or two later. So who knows what the issue was – but it was a very weird and memorable ending to a not-so-great hookup.

Sunday morning I had a hookup with a guy in the neighborhood. He’s one of those “neg for neg” types who I wonder about. Probably is neg, but not sure how much longer… He made the comment before I went over that he’d been partying a bit. PNP + bareback isn’t a good formula for staying neg – especially when you’re a bottom…

But I digress. When I woke up I had morning wood so I got online not really sure whether I wanted to hookup or just stay in bed and rest. The guy hit me up and he was so close I couldn’t really say ‘no’, so 5 minutes later I was at his place. He had a duplex and he went ahead of me down the stairs. As we got to the lower level things were really dark. I could barely see where I was going and actually walked into a side table at one point.

We got to his bedroom and the blinds were drawn but there was still just enough light to see what was going on. The guy had a stocky build. Some might consider him a cub, but he definitely wasn’t a bear. That body type is hit or miss with me, but other than when I was sick, and the sex party where the guy wanted me to rubber up after I started fucking him raw, I’ve had a perfect streak of being able to cum every time for 6 months now. I had thought I was past my problems with not being able to cum every time.

But that’s not how it went. For the most part my dick cooperated to the point where I’d get hard enough to fuck – I’d say it was about 80% hard. But I just couldn’t find a position with him that rubbed my dick the right way so I’d go the extra 20% and be hard as a rock and cum. Hell, I’ve even cum when I wasn’t fully hard, but that didn’t happen with him either.

I’m not sure if we’re just not a good match physically, or if my dick just wasn’t in the mood that day, but I tried a number of times with him and couldn’t make it work. He definitely got a few decent fucks in there while I was trying (it wasn’t a complete waste of time), but the point of it all – cumming in his ass – just never happened.

Finally I just gave up and left.

Since he mentioned he’d been partying a little I asked if he’d gotten fucked by other guys. He said ‘no’. That actually worries me a little – I wonder if he’s partying by himself. Doing drugs solo is always a bad idea. Besides being a little sad, you could have a bad trip and need help and there won’t be anyone there with you to look out for you.

Afterwards I realized he lives next door to someone I know socially. I’m sure they know each other. I’m starting to wonder whether fucking people who live so close is really a good idea. Verdict’s out on that one…

I wasn’t really planning on hooking up today. I knew I wasn’t at a 100%. When I got on BBRT & A4A I set my status to “Not Looking”. Despite that a Latino who’s been hitting me up a lot lately convinced me he should come over. I told him I might not be 100%, but he wanted to come.

He got here a bit late, ’cause he had sent a confirmation e-mail and I didn’t see it until just before he was supposed to be here and he didn’t leave until I responded. [That’s the sort of think I gave him the cell number for – but whatever…]

He gets here and he’s come from work and needed to clean out. I jacked my dick a bit and was a little concerned – “junior” wasn’t really responding.

He came out and wanted to suck my dick, and he did for a moment, but I knew the only way to get hard was to rim him. He wanted legs up, which was fine, but the problem was he didn’t seem 100% clean. I was rather “delicate” in my rimming. On any other day he would have been just fine, but today he wasn’t quite enough to get me going.

Well, he did get me just hard enough that I could fuck him, but I wasn’t completely hard. I wanted him to roll over on his belly, but when he pulled off my dick to do so I just wasn’t hard enough to go back in.

He sucked on my dick – which considering that I didn’t think his hole was perfectly clean was a bit daring – nothing like a little ATM where the dick isn’t quite clean… (yuck!)

Bottom line, we never really got back in the swing of things. At one point he was hard and I could see he was thinking of jacking off – but I think he was bugged by my not being hard. For god’s sake – I told him it was day #7 of being sick…

Another part of it was I haven’t taken Cialis in forever. When I feel better I’ll take one and fuck like a bunny for a few days 🙂

So my 9 day load is still in my balls. Tomorrow it’ll be a 10 day load. Maybe I’ll feel good enough to hookup tomorrow…