Load 2010-36

Fantasy-wise it’s hot to breed neg bottoms, but honestly I’m starting to think poz bottoms are just better bottoms. A little over 2 weeks ago the neg bottom who last time asked my status after I fucked him said he wanted me to come over and fuck him again. Needless to say I wanted to complete my mission and actually get a load up his ass, so I said yes…

I show up at his place, we chat a little. I was a little earlier than he was expecting so he jumped into the shower after I got there. He seemed a little hesitant to just walk around in a towel after showering (he’s seriously inhibited), but I convinced him it was no big deal. After chatting a little more we moved into the bedroom. He sucked my dick and did a horrible job of it. He was going a million miles an hour on my dick when a nice slow, relaxed blowjob would have been so much more erotic.

I really wasn’t interested in his dick so went straight for his ass… He seemed a little shocked by my getting right to the point – I think he wanted it to be slower and more romantic or something… But he still liked being rimmed… 🙂

Eventually (after doing some kissing to get him “ready”) I lubed up and got into him. He kept wanting to change positions and when I’d start getting in a groove he’d start squirming. It was really frustrating and at one point I had to tell him to stop squirming. Not squirming seemed like a revelation to him… Later he said he wasn’t a very good bottom because in the past he’d mostly topped. But honestly if he’d topped enough he’d know what turns a top on – and he’d know that squirming is counter productive. And for god’s sake I even wonder how many blowjobs he’s gotten in the past – I mean he doesn’t even understand the basics of sucking dick.

There was one time when I felt like I was about to cum but then didn’t feel the squirt. Thing is, all of a sudden his ass felt all wet and some fluid spurted out of his hole. Then I realized that I had cum and he had finally gotten my load – but I wasn’t quite sure. I was also disappointed that I didn’t actually feel the ejaculation. Still, it made me wonder how many other bottoms I’ve cum in where I thought I hadn’t cum… Maybe my batting average is better than I think. After “cumming” I kept fucking him. But eventually my dick sorta just ran out of steam (like it would if I had cum – which reinforced the fact that I had cum).

So we laid there and chatted a little and he’d suck on my dick a little every now and then, etc. I asked him what he meant last time by “that was a first for me in many ways”. He said it was the first time he got barebacked, but he sorta alluded to the fact that it might have been the first time he got fucked. He tried to pass it off that he had been a top in the past, but I just don’t believe him. I think the guy is pretty new to gay sex. Maybe he’s sucked a few dicks or something, but that’s about all… He once again asked if I was negative, etc. I told him the truth (again) but went into as little detail as possible.

I wasn’t 100% sure I had cum, so I went back to fucking him when I got my second wind. He did better (didn’t squirm too much), but I still wouldn’t call him a good bottom. Once again I didn’t feel an ejaculation, but who knows… Maybe I gave him another load… Eventually I was done so I wrapped things up an left.

A day later I get a text message from him…

I freaked out today and got myself tested… Thank God it’s Negative.

My Dr is asking me to do this 28 day medical program which has a lot of side effects… Can I speak with U?

I responded…

It’s called PEP. Personally I don’t recommend it. But it’s up to you. I haven’t used a condom in 6 years and only used them occasionally before that. It would be crazy for me to run to the doctor in a panic every time I have sex. I’m OK with the risk I take. Only you can say what’s right for you.

Then he responded…

I appreciate your response… I was at emergency for 3 hrs… I really like you and thought that I can have this conv with you.. Hope u understand.

OMG… That is just totally fucked up… I mean he knew what I was about and he invited me back to get fucked raw and take a load, then he can’t deal with it and spends 3 hours in an emergency room?That’s just too much drama. A poz bottom would just take the load and want you to come back and give him another load.

I never got back to him so I don’t know how it all turned out. Hopefully he’ll get over his inhibitions and just enjoy sex. But I have a feeling that’s not going to happen any time soon – he’s going to have this tortured sex life until he becomes poz… Maybe then he’ll relax and enjoy getting fucked.

Thank god for poz bottoms!

Load 2010-35

OMG! I just fucked the hottest little Latino muscle guy… Short, compact, and all muscle… PERFECT body. And shockingly, really into me… Usually guys that hot want other “hot” guys…

Anyway, I saw him on Adam4Adam and he wasn’t far away. His stats and public pic were good. When he unlocked his private pic didn’t match his public pic, but his private pic was hotter, so no huge deal there… When I was looking at his profile I honestly didn’t notice how little he was… I did notice his profile said “neg / safe sex only”. I asked whether he was OK with bb and he just avoided (or forgot to answer) the question… (I don’t ask twice)…

So long story short, we go back and forth and it works out that he can come over tonight. He was a little late, but not much. The poor guy had walked and didn’t dress properly and was freezing when he got here. He was a lot shorter than I was expecting – but that’s a very good thing in my book – the smaller the better… And he was HOT – his private pic was totally accurate.

We get undressed. With muscle guys I’m never sure whether they’re into guys with builds like mine or whether they just want my dick. I left my shirt on, but he started pulling it off, so I knew it was all good. He then started devouring my body – kissing / licking me all over. Feeling my body… He was really into body contact – in a major way.

He sucked my dick for a while, then I sucked his briefly then I spun him around and started eating his ass. He had this perfect slightly hairy muscle butt. He was pretty clean – just a little musk. He liked having his hole eaten… When I finished I grabbed the lube and was about to fuck him, but he wanted to suck my dick some more… He had me sit on the edge of the bed and gave me a good blowjob. Then he had me lay back. I was hoping he was going to sit on my cock, but he got into 69 position and offered me his hole while he sucked my dick. So I laid there for 10 minutes or so and just ate his ass while he slobbered all over my cock. He especially liked trying to get my dick down his throat.

I was starting to wonder if he was mostly oral and trying to get me to cum to avoid getting fucked. After all, his profile did say “neg / safe sex only”… But he finally got tired of sucking my dick and got into position to get fucked. But then he jumped up and started rifling through his pants. I was thinking – shit, what am I going to do if he pulls out a condom. I’d say no of course, but how?  But he came back with a bottle of poppers, so we were all good…

He got on all fours on the edge of the bed and I fucked him for a bit. Felt good, but the angle wasn’t quite right – his ass was a little too high and he wasn’t getting my hints to lower his ass. So I pushed him forward onto his belly. At first he thought I wanted him on all fours, but I finally got him how I wanted him.

I was able to get deep into him in this position and it felt INCREDIBLE. There was friction on the head of my dick (nirvana for me). As far as I could tell I was fucking his 2nd sphincter. I only get that deep on little guys – it’s why I love fucking them so much – fucking little guys just feels better (sometimes) – and this was definitely one of those times.

Needless to say it didn’t take long for me to blow in his ass. He might have been a little disappointed I came so quickly, but there was no way I could have lasted longer. After I came I slowly fucked his cummy ass, then rolled the two of us over onto our sides and continued to fuck him while we played with each other…

There was more body contact, etc. And he was hard the whole time. I wasn’t sure whether I should get  him off or not. It’s not really my thing and he didn’t seem to need me to, so I didn’t. Eventually I was totally soft and he took that as a cue to leave.

Unlike most of the bottoms I fuck there really wasn’t any conversation – it was just very physical sex – fine with me, just different.

He’s not far away – hopefully I’ll get to fuck him pretty regularly…

Last Thursday I was supposed to hookup with this hot bottom who was in from out of town. He was staying at a hotel in midtown, so the plan was to go fuck him and then head over to the poz party at Vlada a few blocks away. But I didn’t know (or forgot) that he could only hookup early in the evening. When I pushed the hookup to 8pm so it would be easy to just go over to Vlada for the party, he didn’t get back to me until 7 and by then I just couldn’t get down there before he had to leave to go see his play.

So then I was scrambling to find another bottom to fuck. This guy hit me up on A4A and my notes on him just said that when we talked before he had reiterated that he was neg. This time there were zero questions about status. The emails were short, sweet and to the point. By his 3rd email to me he had given me his address and said come over.

The issue was that he wasn’t anywhere near Hell’s Kitchen and the poz party… I had to do a transfer to get to him. I headed out, and tried to transfer at Times Square to another train to get to him. I waited and waited and noticed there were a lot of people on the platform waiting. When one of the trains on the other tracks turned around and went back the way it was coming from I knew something was up. I was already late, so I figured I’d take a cab the rest of the way. Problem was it was raining lightly and there were no cabs available. So I wound up walking 20+ blocks in light rain to get to him.

By the time I got there I was hot, sweaty and wet. I’m sure I looked like a complete mess. He lived in a VERY nice building and had a great apartment. When he offered a drink I took it ’cause I sorta just needed a short break to get in a different frame of mind. We chatted briefly and then headed to the bedroom.

I should stop and say the guy wasn’t completely my type, but there was something about him I really liked. He seemed a bit awkward and innocent and it was appealing… When we stripped down and kissed a little he liked what he saw and he got very compliant basically telling me he’d do whatever I wanted. I told him to suck my dick and he gave me a great blowjob – felt really good. But what I really wanted was his neg ass…

After the blowjob I told him to get on the bed and give me his ass. He got on his back and threw his legs up.  This is when I saw what I really liked… He had this wonderfully smooth ass. There was just something incredibly fuckable about it. I rimmed him for a while and got it all wet, then I spit on my dick and tried to get in him.

He needed lube and handed me some. I noticed there were condoms next to the lube. I didn’t take one, he didn’t ask me to use one. I lubed up, and pushed in. I had to take it slow and couldn’t go very deep at first. After a while I wanted to change positions so I started rolling him over trying to ease him into being on his belly (thought it might be a bit too anonymous for him).

When I got him on his belly he started bucking around and then wanted to do doggy. It was a little frustrating. I came close to cumming, but never could. He was squirming around too much and I was getting overheated (it was warm and humid in the apartment and I was sweating like a pig).

There came this point where he asked if I liked him well enough to cum. I said ‘yes’ (since that was my intention). We fucked a bit more and when I slowed down (’cause I was wearing out), he thought I’d cum in his ass and pulled off my dick. Then I saw that he wasn’t all that clean and headed off to the bathroom to clean up. I knew that was sorta the end of it for me – I don’t do well when bottoms’ aren’t clean.

When I went back to the bedroom he seemed nervous. He said something like “Wow, that was the longest and most intense sex I’ve ever had. It was a first for me on many levels.” I was a little surprised. For starters we had only been having sex for 20 minutes at most. I figured it may have been the first time he was barebacked and possibly the first time (he thought) he took a load. Then he paused a second and hesitantly asked something like “So the question is… Well, you’re neg, right?” I told him what he wanted to hear and didn’t give details (like my last test was over 8 months ago).

After that he was surprised I wasn’t getting dressed and leaving, so I took the hint, dressed and left…

My goal now is to give him what he thought he got – a load deep in his ass… Hopefully I’ll hook up with him again this week. I really want to get him addicted to taking loads… 😉

Load 2010-24

Last week I was chatting up this Asian guy on BBRT. He was out of town but said he was planning on coming to NYC the next weekend. All of a sudden he said…

So I just confirmed my trip to NYC this Friday-Sunday. When can we meet? … It was your PA that made the decision point.

From the sound of it he was coming into town specifically to get fucked by me and my PA. In one way it’s nice, in another it sorta obligated me to hookup with him. (If you’re reading this and thinking of doing something similar – don’t do it – chances are I will not be able to hookup with you).

His pics were just so-so and I wondered what I had just gotten myself into. On the other hand, he wanted to get fucked with a PA and it had been a while since I did that and there were things about him that looked interesting… He was Asian and I like Asian guys. He seemed like he was in reasonably good shape, but not great shape, but good enough. And the part that was most curious was that his profile didn’t just say he was neg, but in his profile text he listed the date of his last test. But he asked me no questions and his “looking for” status was “no preference”. Combine that with his wanting to get fucked by a PA that would probably tear him up a bit and he seemed like a bit of a hungry pig – that much I knew I was going to like.

We exchanged texts and set up a time. I really did get the sense that he came into town specifically to get fucked by me and my PA – it was sorta weird. Friday evening I had a barbecue at a friend’s place in Jersey, so we arranged to meet Saturday afternoon.

That morning I decided I’d take a hot bath, try to stretch my PA and get my 0 gauge ring in. It didn’t happen – I didn’t get the 0 gauge ring in until the next day. But I thought it would be cool to  fuck with the additional weight of the 0 gauge. In hindsight it was good it didn’t go in. The 0 gauge has been a little painful as my hole stretches to adapt to it. Probably would have been a really bad idea to fuck with it a few hours after going up to the bigger size. As it turned out this was the last fuck with the 2 gauge – seems appropriate to fuck with it the last day it was in – sorta like a going away party for the ring – lol.

Now my next issue was that my PA is sorta distracting. I don’t fuck with it (very often) ’cause when it’s in I don’t perform as well. So knowing he wanted to get fucked with the PA was a bit of a complication. I decided to do both my herbal stuff as well as a little Viagra. So first thing in the morning I took some of the herbal stuff and then a couple hours before I was supposed to meet him I took about a 1/3rd of a Viagra (maybe a little less). I just hoped it would work well enough…

You’d think if he was coming into town specifically to get fucked by me he’d pick a hotel that was easy for me to get to. Instead he picked one down near Wall Street. And then on top of it there was track work and I wound up having to go all the way to Brooklyn double back to get to him. It took a bit over an hour for me to get there. I did feel the Viagra kick in when we got to 59th Street, but by the time I was finally approaching his hotel I was thinking “I hope he’s worth it…” Oh yeah – and the temperature was in the 90’s with high humidity…

Then I get into the elevator at his hotel and realize you need a key card to get up to the guest floors. I texted him to come down. When he got there I was shocked – he was totally cute – unlike his pics, he was quite thin – so thin I’d call him skinny. And his face was so much more adorable than his pics – he looked like a bit of a nerd in his pics. He real life had this hot faux hawk and was 110% my type… Not perfect, but I don’t expect perfection – but he was damn close to it. Needless to say I was glad I bothered to hookup with him.

We get to his hotel room and strip down. He was totally into me (which I always find odd coming from guys who have great bodies), and as I’ve said I was totally into him. I had forgotten that he told me he liked to party. So it turned into a 3way with Tina/Chrissy… But oddly, he did it 3 times while I was there and the interaction with him was completely normal – like he wasn’t doing anything at all. Again, I lucked out… There wasn’t even the weird odor I’ve smelled when guys smoked up before sex – I wonder what it was that he was doing – maybe it wasn’t Tina… Anyway, a minor distraction, but not a problem.

We made out and I felt up his body for a little while. Then he sucked my cock for a few minutes. Then he got on all fours on the bed and I started eating him out. He had told me he took a load earlier in the day, but it was in there pretty deep (or he had cleaned out) ’cause I didn’t taste anything. He had a great ass and I finally got totally hard.

I stood up and started pushing my PA and cock into his ass. It’s always a little tricky getting such a big ring up some guy’s ass without hurting him or me in the process, but I did finally get it up there. I fucked him doggy style for a while, but every time I’d hit bottom in his ass it was a little painful for me as the ring would double back. So I pushed him onto his belly thinking maybe I wouldn’t get as deep in his ass that way.

With him on his belly there was still a little pain but not so much, but what I really noticed was hot small he was underneath me. He felt good… really good… There was something about his body where his hole was just in the perfect place for me. As you might guess, it wasn’t long before I was blowing my load in his hole. Between the Viagra and the herbal stuff I stayed hard after cumming and kept fucking his cummy hole (more slowly) for a while.

Finally I pulled out and he cleaned off my dick (it’s sorta surprising how many guys are into ATM these days – it seems everyone wants to clean off my dick after it comes out of their ass)… And given that my big PA digs up shit even in “clean” bottoms it said a lot about his ability to clean out that he could suck the dick right after it fucked him. Then I got behind him and started eating out his cummy hole. It tasted great… It’s sorta weird tasting my cum when I’m rimming a guy. I had fucked him enough after cumming that he had a fair amount of cum outside his ass – I didn’t have to work too hard to get my fill of cum.

We then laid around for a bit and chatted, cuddled, sucked each other’s cocks, etc. After 20 minutes or so I got hard enough for round two, but I wasn’t totally hard. In the past I’d noticed that my ring would hold my semi-hard cock in a guy’s ass, so I pushed the ring in and fucked him. I wasn’t totally hard and it was sorta an odd fuck. Seemed it was pretty intense for him – probably because my ring wasn’t as deep in his ass and when I’d pull out a bit the ring would stretch his sphincter. For me it wasn’t the greatest of fucks, but he seemed to like it because the PA was causing some pretty intense sensations.

I wasn’t going to cum, so eventually I just pulled out and we went back to cuddling, talking, sucking cock, etc. At this point I asked him what was up with him since he put the date of his last HIV test in his profile but then had “no preference” in for “looking for” status. He misinterpreted what I said and before I got “no preference” out he said “‘don’t care’ – did I forget to change that?” In other words before his test his HIV status was apparently listed as “don’t care”. Anyway, his answer was pretty simple – he had gotten into barebacking, loved it, never wanted to use condoms again and knew he’d eventually become poz. That still didn’t answer my question as to whether putting his HIV test date in his profile was there to attract neg tops or attract gift giving poz breeders. Either way, I didn’t get the sense he was bug chasing so much as just aware it would happen sooner or later and enjoying life in the process.

I seem to get a fair number of guys assuming I’m poz. I wonder if his coming to NYC paying for transportation and hotel mostly just to get fucked by one top wasn’t because he was thinking that being fucked with a big PA would be a memorable way to get pozzed. Thing was, even when we were discussing his status he didn’t ask questions about mine… He clearly just didn’t want to know. There are times when I wish I could be a mind reader…

When we went to fuck the third time I took my ring out. It was a big enough distraction I knew I’d do better without it. I rimmed him little before I started, but by this time his ass was pretty musky from all the fucking and cum, so it really wasn’t that big of a turn on. But when I went to fuck him it was a good fuck. Once again we started with him on all fours. He was jacking his dick, which usually I don’t like, but it wasn’t interfering with anything. Then he stopped and I asked if he had cum – he had. He didn’t ask me to stop, so I pushed him onto his belly and kept fucking him. There was something about his hole that felt incredible. It was cummy and I was going in at just the right angle, and of course like before I could feel how small he was under me. I almost came a second time. In all my preparations for that day I had forgotten my cock ring. Had I remembered it my dick might have been a little thicker and a little more sensitive and I just might have cum the second time. For me it was probably my favorite fuck of the day – even though I didn’t cum.

Afterwards we cuddled and he actually fell asleep in my arms for a few minutes. Eventually I had to go. It had been a busy 2 hours and I needed to get home.

All in all an excellent fuck…

Load 2010-22

Had sorta a weird hookup the other day… This guy hit me up on BBRT and despite my effort to get to the point and hookup, he was asking all these other questions. Finally I had to ask – did he want to fuck or not? If he wasn’t really into it I’d move onto someone else. He said yes. We agreed on a time and he came over.

I should backup and mention that my doc gave me a prescription for Viagra this past week and this was the first time trying it out. I cut the pill in two and took the small half – probably about a 40% dose. I was curious to see how it would work. An hour went by and nothing. Then at about and hour and 20 minutes it started kicking in. I felt really hot and flushed – uncomfortably so. I remember feeling the same way the first time I used the herbal stuff I normally use.

When I answered the door I had this raging, rock hard hardon in my pants. I’ll give Viagra definite points for hardness.

When we got to the bedroom he was pretty submissive. Didn’t do anything without being told. I was sorta expecting that since he had said he wanted to be tied up and used. I told him to get on his knees and he started sucking my dick. I put a collar on him as he was sucking my cock and then when he stood up and I took off his clothes, I put on wrist restraints which I locked together with a nice heavy lock.

I then told him to get on all fours on the bed. He was bit beefier than I usually hookup with, but I wanted to rim his ass. When he got on all fours I noticed his ass crack was darker than the rest of his ass (why are some guys like that?) and he smelled a bit funky. Not horrible, but a bit too far from squeaky clean for me to really get into rimming him. Needless to say I didn’t rim very enthusiastically and ended it pretty quickly.

I then pulled out the Wet Platinum, lubed up my dick and went to fuck him. He was 3 or 4 inches taller than me and bent over  on the bed his hole was 6 to 8 inches above my dick. There was no way I was going to be able to fuck him like that. I pushed him forward onto his belly and shoved my dick in. He was beefier than the guys I usually hookup with, but I found that if I was at a bit of an angle his hole felt pretty good on my dick.

This whole time he never really gave any positive feedback. It was like he really didn’t care who I was, and probably didn’t care if he even got fucked. It was like he was getting fucked to pass the time. He seemed sorta bored or like his his head was off somewhere else thinking about something. All in all he was sorta ‘vacant’ and ‘absent’. Add to that bad breath that I could smell when I was on top of him fucking him (I gotta remember to get guys with bad breath to go gargle with Listerine so I don’t have to smell that).

Then, on top of everything else, he asks for more lube, and when I pause for a second I realize I’m actually about to cum. If I pull out to get more lube I’ll cum while I’m out of his ass. I hadn’t even been fucking him for very long, but I had a 6 day load built up and could have cum in any decent hole that day – and his hole was doing the trick. So I paused, tried not to cum, spit on his hole a couple times and resumed my fucking. I knew it wasn’t going to go on for much longer.

As I was about to blow I was thinking about the fact that his profile said he was neg, yet he had asked no questions and here he was laying there like a piece of meat about to get my load – and totally disconnected from what he was doing. I would have loved to know what he was thinking at that moment. It was like he didn’t care, but there was more to it and I couldn’t tell what that more was…

I blew a decent load up his ass and kept fucking him for a little while – told him I wanted to keep going and give him a second load, but then the Viagra started to fail me and so I pulled out.

It had only been a few minutes at this point. What was I going to do with him? I had him clean off my dick, which given that his ass was a bit musky coulda been a bit disgusting, but he cleaned it right off like it was perfectly clean. I had him suck me some more, but I wasn’t really all that hard, so I stopped.

I asked him if he was into flogging. No. (Forget about asking about whipping if they’re not into flogging). I asked about padding. No. I was staring to run out of options. I played with his nipples and when I sucked on one of them he reacted positively (a first). I could tell he liked that. So then I searched for the suction cups I have for nipples, but couldn’t find them. I got out my nipple clamps and he indicated that he didn’t know if he could take them. I tried to use them gently, but you can’t really use nipple clamps gently – they kept slipping off. I was out of s/m tricks.

The whole time he was jacking his dick, which was a bit distracting. But it wasn’t like he was jacking it ’cause he was turned on – he was jacking it ’cause he seemed embarrassed about having a soft dick. Finally he got hard and stopped jacking. It was like a dog presenting a hard bone to his master – it was sorta cute. Thing was, he was a bottom – I didn’t really care about his cock.

I felt up his cummy ass and thought about fucking him some more, but my dick wasn’t really cooperating. Finally I just wrapped things up by taking off his collar and wrist restraints. He got the hint, got dressed and took off. We did talk a little as he was getting dressed. It wasn’t completely awkward, but I still have no clue where his mind was while we were having sex…

As a first time using Viagra it was a bit disappointing. It did get me rock hard, but it didn’t last very long. In some ways I like the herbal stuff I use better. I don’t get quite as hard with it, but I get thicker. I think I’ll use Viagra when I’m not completely horny (’cause that’s when the herbal stuff isn’t sufficient) and I’ll use the herbal stuff when I’m good and horny and just need a boost to make my cock bigger and more sensitive.

Grrrr… I just got stood up by a sub bottom and it’s not the first time he’s done shit like this… When I was first trying to hookup with him he’d cancel at the last minute, but he hasn’t done that in quite a while. He hasn’t been as eager as I’d like, but he hasn’t told me one thing and done another in quite a while.

The bottom is actually the bottom I fucked a couple of years ago with my PA. He was getting gangbanged and I think I sorta tore him up inside and he couldn’t really take dick after that. Then one of the tops told him he wasn’t really neg – that he was poz (making the fact that I tore him up a little more significant)… There was a lot of drama and the bottom didn’t really like the things I said when I wrote up the encounter. For a while he didn’t want anything to do with me, but then he finally came back for more – deep down he needed it.

Anyway, that fuck was one I videotaped – here it is…

And here’s an earlier video I did of him…

So here’s how it went down this time… He hits me up on BBRT and wishes me Happy Pride. I ask him if he’s looking and can host, he says ‘probably’ and asks if I’ve pissed yet (he likes to get pissed on). I tell him I can come over pretty much right away (he’s within easy walking distance). And he says “thats up to u SIR. [Whether I drink a bunch so I can piss on him.] or u can just come over and dump a quick load in me SIR. u tested recently?” I avoid the question about my status (just to sorta play a head game with him), and say “give me your address and i’ll come over now”. There’s a bit of a delay and he finally says “sorry SIR – could u answer my question SIR? have u been tested recently SIR?” Since he pushes the issue I answer – “last test was january. it was neg.” He comes back with “understood SIR. thank u for answering SIR. XXX west XXXrd street SIR. #XX. hole will be lubed for you SIR. no pa, right?” I tell him I’ll take the PA out to fuck him. He thanks me and says he wishes he got my 6 day load. I tell him he’ll be getting a 3 day load and it’ll be plenty big and thick. I get dressed and head over.

When I get to his place I press the buzzer. No response. I press again. No response. Then I call him and it goes to voicemail. I leave a rather terse message. Then I ring the buzzer a few more times. Then I text him. Finally I login to BBRT and see he’s left me a message… “actually SIR – just found a load a little closer and ready now. so gonna cancel on u – im sorry!” The little shit… I know it’s a lie – that he’s in his apartment listening to me ringing his bell and calling him. But there’s no point waiting, so I leave.

He finally responds to my text and among other things says “i have no good excuse but i really do apologize SIR.” He’s obviously a Catholic and doesn’t realize he’s dealing with a Protestant. Protestants only care about actions – apologies that aren’t accompanied with action are meaningless and sorta insulting. I give him an earful and tell him I’m just 4 blocks away – I can come back. I mean it’s one thing to get cold feet and that was his chance to redeem himself. He apologizes some more but doesn’t take me up on my offer to redeem himself. I tell him he should be a better sub than that and that next time he’s getting fucked with the PA as punishment. I know he doesn’t like it, but he can endure it… Seems like a good way to get back at him. He then gets back to me with more of an explanation…

i don’t have a good explanation SIR, like i said. i am actually in formal training with a master now to be a better slave SIR, and for the first time i just dug in my heels and disobeyed a direct order from him SIR. he has already told me i will be punished quite severely SIR. i am truly sorry to have let both of u down. i don’t know why i did it SIR. i am sure that he will correct the matter and you will have full access to my hole any time you need it in the future SIR. in spite of my behavior today, he is an excellent master SIR and has been training me well.

I’d love to be there when he gets punished. I don’t think he’s all that much into pain, but it would be sorta fun to take a whip to him and then fuck him in with the PA and dump a big load in his abused hole.

At the root of the problem is the fact that he’s a submissive cumdump who wants to stay neg. I think his misgivings about tops is what makes him disobey. Honestly, I think his life would make a lot more sense if he were poz. Being poz just sorta fits with where his head is at sexually. But it’s the conflict between the two that’s at the root of all of this. He wants to submit, but he’s concerned about the implications.

We’ll see what happens next…