There were three fucks since my last post that I didn’t have time to write up (Loads 2012-4, 5 & 6). Very briefly one guy seemed to want more from me – longer hookup, more of a connection. One was one of my regular fucks – always goes well with him. And one was a new fuck who was pretty good.

BTW, I just looked at the blog – seems like things are “disappointing” a lot these days… That’s not really the case – it’s just I didn’t have time to write up the good stuff…

So yesterday I arrived in Phoenix for a porn conference. I figured I’d host a few gangbangs, but I’m finding it a bit difficult to organize them. The Phoenix metro area is made up of a bunch of little towns. So if I list things in Tempe (where I am) the guys in Phoenix don’t see the listing despite the fact that I’m like 5 or 10 miles from Phoenix (at most). And despite multiple attempts I just couldn’t get anything to post in Craigslist M4M section…

Yesterday’s gangbang was supposed to have these two hot young poz bottoms. Then (if pictures are to be believed) the one with the absolutely stunning ass backed out. I always prefer having two bottoms in case one is late, or dirty, etc. (It’s not like I’m going to fill in for the bottom if things don’t work out). So this other guy hit me up. He was also young and his profile said he was neg… In his pics he was cute, and his pics weren’t inaccurate, they just didn’t tell the whole story – when he showed he was heavier than I expected. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So the first bottom shows up. I’m guessing he’s Asian – something like Cambodian – but I’m not exactly sure. He was cute, not a flawless body, but nice… Then the second bottom showed up – he was Latino – given that this is Arizona and his looks, I’d guess he was of Mexican heritage.

The Latino bottom was cute, but the issue was that he was heavy and competing against against the Asian bottom who was thinner and more confident/energetic…

We had some time before the other tops got there so the two bottoms started sucking my dick. Then I fucked the Asian guy, then the Latino guy fucked the Asian guy. As the start time got closer I had to put on some clothes so I could answer the door. The two of them alternated between sucking each other’s dicks and just chilling.

Right at 5:30 (the start time) two tops showed up at the same time. Then a 3rd top showed up maybe 15 minutes later. Top 1 knew the Asian bottom and the two of them started the action. Top 1 had a pretty nice body. Top 2 started playing with the Latino bottom, but stopped. So I started fucking the Latino bottom – and liked watching Top 1 fuck the Asian bottom.

Top 1 managed to give both bottoms loads. Top 2 & 3 each gave the Asian bottom loads. Unfortunately I didn’t cum. I could have cum early on with the Asian bottom, but if I had cum at that point, then I wouldn’t have had it in me to fuck the Latino bottom – as the host, that didn’t seem fair. Then things sorta died down and it was me, the two bottoms and Top 3 and we were talking about completely non-sexual stuff. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before, and it all just accumulated to me just not being in the mood to fuck by the end of the gangbang.

So all in all a bit of a disappointment – I didn’t get the critical mass of tops to keep things going… I’m pretty sure the one on Friday will be better…

One other disappointment was that this morning a guy came over, but then didn’t want to get fucked. He said he was worried he wasn’t clean, but I think it might have been more than that…

So I need to fuck, but once again I woke up too early (my body woke up on Eastern Time), so I’m tired and don’t feel much like fucking… UGH… Maybe better luck later today or tomorrow…

Today a well-known porn studio did a shoot at my place. You’ll understand in a bit why I’m not going to give details. It was a big crew – like 8 porn stars (I didn’t participate other than being there). The professionalism among them was completely uneven. Most of them were polite and courteous and professional, but there was one who was just a huge messy queen…

The mess showed up 2 hours late and at one point went outside (in view of all my neighbors) with no shirt on. When I said “why did you do that?” He said “I don’t care (what people think)”. My response was, “Well, I care. I have to live here.” He was clearly high – sorta bouncing off the walls and saying stupid shit. He asked me how he looked, then said a little prayer in front of me (about him staying clean) and insisted I say the “Amen”.

Then a few hours later one of the porn stars I’ve known for a while says “believe it or not, he’s higher than when he arrived.” This, despite the producer telling everyone in advance that drugs weren’t allowed. Then a half hour later I see he’s passed out in one of the rooms…

I mean that’s pretty hot to walk in on – sorta perfect how he managed to have his shorts pulled down – like he hoped someone would come along and fuck him (some more). If he weren’t such a mess I might have gone up and felt him up. But when other people are paying guys to perform I’m sorta stand-offish with porn stars – they’re not mine during that time – they belong to the producer. Plus, he was totally out and even snoring… Given how erratic he was acting I preferred him asleep. Our place can be pretty dangerous if someone’s not being careful.

When he was woken up his mood changed yet again – he got all angry and irritable. Then a few minutes later he had mellowed a bit, but was super anxious to leave (which was fine by me). All in all he was sort of a sad character. Mind you, the video of him getting fucked is going to be incredible. He’s hot and can take an incredibly hard pounding (thanks in part to him being plastered out of his mind). But his life is just a huge disaster from the looks of it.

Then there was another really well known porn star bottom who showed up and promptly had to spend a lot of time cleaning out. Shit happens (so to speak), and in all other respects I really liked the guy – seemed genuine, well-balanced, was really nice to be around, but the bottoms were told it was going to be difficult to clean out – you’d think someone of his caliber and who’s generally really professional would do a bit more to be clean. But he was so good in other respects that I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt – maybe he was just having a bad day.

Most of the guys (like my friend) were completely prepared and put their all into it. They seemed like they’d be a pleasure to work with.

There are times I think it would be fun to produce porn. But then there are moments like today when the one bad apple in the barrel makes me wonder. The problem porn star reminds me of other porn stars I know. There’s one (who I’ve fucked) a friend told me about the other day who’s deals and uses drugs. Apparently he’s progressed in his drug addiction to the point where he has paranoid spells – it’s just a matter of time before he comes to some tragic end (sad). Then there’s one who worked for me at one point who was a nice, personable guy but the more I got to know him the more I realized he lived in a fantasy world where he thought he could do what he wanted and somehow people would want to take care of him.

I’m not saying all porn stars are messy, but there are enough messy porn stars that I can’t imagine getting full-time into production – I don’t “suffer fools” very well. Porn production would just be an exercise in frustration. Now, the occasional amateur shoot – that could be hot – but even then I’ll encounter flakes, but at least I won’t be paying them…

UPDATE:

Right after I wrote this I saw the news that Whitney Houston died. People (hard) drugs lead to big problems. Yes, you might accomplish something and people may know you – and part of your creativity may come from the drugs. But ultimately they’re just not worth it. I hate to sound like Barbara Bush Nancy Reagan – but seriously, “Just Say No”.

Load 2012-3

I woke up this morning hoping to fuck someone. I had taken a Cialis about 48 hours earlier (before fucking “my nigger fuckbud“) and the Cialis was still doing it’s job. There were a few guys online but they were saying they wanted hour plus hookups or that they didn’t want to travel that far. I was willing to travel – it was Sunday morning and I knew I could find parking just about anywhere in the City.

This black guy wanted me to come to his place near Columbus Circle, so I took a shower and headed out (and got a muffin on the way there so I had some energy). Traffic was light and I got down the West Side Highway really quickly. I called him from outside his building and he buzzed me in. He left his door ajar. I went in and my eyes had a hard time adjusting. All his blinds were drawn, he just had this little, dim, neon light on. I’ve got Transitions lenses and they hadn’t adjusted to being indoors yet, so it seemed like the room was almost pitch black.

I navigated around the table in the middle of the room and found him on his bed, ass up, wearing athletic socks, tennis shoes, and one of those ass-cut-out sorta shorts (is there a proper name for those?). He gyrated his ass up and down as I took off my boots and my jeans.

I crawled up on the bed, and bent over to rim him, but he had lubed up with strawberry lube or something. It tasted awful so I quit immediately. I jacked my dick a little. When I was about 3/4 hard I shoved in. He had sorta of a big meaty ass. If I saw him in clothes I’m guessing I’d say he had an “apple bottom”.

All in all he was a pretty good fuck. His hole felt pretty good (not great, but definitely a good fuck). I just concentrated on the task at hand – dark room anonymous fucks aren’t meant to be long drawn-out events. I came fairly quickly, but didn’t feel like leaving right away. I rolled him onto his side and pumped his ass a minute or two until my dick got soft. Then I got up, dressed and left.

When I had texted him that I was on his block it was 9:50. When I got in the car and drove away I noticed it was 10:03. So given the walk time and (un)dressing at both ends of the hookup the actual sex took less than 10 minutes – which is about right for a pump-n-dump 😉

Load 2012-2

Yeah, I know the N word in the title has probably got some of you guys wondering WTF? but you’ll understand in a bit…

There’s a black guy I’ve been fucking on an off for a while now. He’s got a nice body, his hole always feels good on my cock so I always cum with him. I wouldn’t call it A+ sex, but it’s good enough to make him a regular. 🙂

Last time he started getting into poz talk while I was fucking him (inaccurately assuming I was poz). Since then I had asked him once if he got into race play and being called nigger. He said he hadn’t done it in the past – just had other black guys call him nigga. I sorta backtracked on the question pretty quickly ’cause when I started thinking about it, he’s not all that submissive, and I couldn’t imagine calling someone nigger unless they were being submissive.

Friday he was on A4A when I was looking. It’s been difficult lately to find guys who will travel up to Washington Heights in the middle of the day (when I’m  typically available). He was, so I told him to come up.

When he came in we stripped down (I kept on my shirt), and while he was sucking my dick I reached over and fingered his hole. It felt a bit lubed. When I rimmed him it tasted pretty good – a tad musky, but good. He LOVED being rimmed, but I wanted to fuck, so I lubed up and shoved in. I tried to push him down on his belly, but he resisted – he clearly wanted to get fucked doggy style (as I said, he’s not submissive).

As I fucked him I kept hitting something in his ass that felt like a hard turd. I didn’t investigate ’cause I knew as soon as I saw shit it would be over. It was weird though – I knew he had cleaned out – so it didn’t make sense, but it felt a bit pointy and hard. Who knows… Never did figure it out…

Then he starts saying stuff like “yeah, fuck that nigger ass”. From that point on it was a constant stream of comments and he used the word “nigger” every time. It was a weird dynamic. I wasn’t calling him nigger, he was calling himself nigger. I’m not being good at being verbal. When I fuck I’m thinking concepts, not sentences. If I actually say what I’m thinking it sounds stupid ’cause I typically string the concepts in my head together with the wrong verbs/adjectives, or I repeat the same concept over and over in my head – which would sound boring and repetitive if I said it out loud.

So I just concentrated on fucking him, but I gotta say having a bottom call himself a “nigger whore”, etc. while I was fucking him was a huge turn on. It’s hard to describe, but it made me harder and I came really quickly as soon as he started being verbal. Usually I hate when guys are verbal – but apparently I’ve found an exception…

After I came, he sorta insisted I tweak his nipples while he jack off. I hate that – it’s sorta the reason why he’s not A+ sex. When I’ve cum, I just want down time. Plus, I don’t really like nipple play – it’s not my thing. And honestly, I don’t give a shit if the bottom cums – I’m fine if I never see their dick.

As he was dressing he said he had done a pump-n-dump with another fuckbud on the way over to my place – which explains why his ass seemed lubed. To bad I didn’t taste the load when I was rimming him.

The guy who works for me was in the other room when all of this was happening. I had wondered whether I should offer the black guy’s ass to him. I know the black guy would have gladly taken the guy’s load, but the power dynamics were all off. I wasn’t really in charge – and that sorta sums up why I don’t fuck him more often… He’s a regular, but an infrequent regular. And it also explains why the use of the word nigger wasn’t a big deal – given the power dynamic the word didn’t mean much of anything. Though I guess there could be something going on in his head – willingly calling yourself a “nigger hole” to get a load from a white guy might eventually make you see yourself as a nigger. Who knows…

Load 2012-1

I wasn’t going to write up this hookup, but I’ve got a little time to kill, so why not…

14+ years ago, a few weeks after I met my current boyfriend, I wasn’t exclusive with my bf yet and I had gone out to the bars. It was early December and cold and I was walking home from a bar in full leather. Leather is cold in the winter and hot in the summer and I was freezing my ass off. I had leather pants on, motorcycle boots, and a my favorite motorcycle jacket on. I sorta remember not having much of anything on under that – maybe the leather bodice thing that covered just the upper part of my torso.

Anyway, I was walking up 7th Avenue south of 14th Street when this hot little Latino came up to me. He was SO cute. He was wearing this little red Santa hat. He tried really hard to get me to let him go home with me, but I wasn’t in the mood (forget why). We exchanged phone numbers and then fucked a week or so later.

At one point he mentioned he had done some porn and for a while I was a bit obsessed with him – buying every video and magazine that I could find with him in it. The picture to the right his him from back then. Obviously he was really hot! He’s got a big dick too – which you can sorta see hanging down between his legs.

So a year or so later my bf and I move uptown and who do I run into – the little Latino who’d picked me up that night. Over the years we’ve fucked on and off. I’ve fucked him in the bathroom at his school. I’ve fucked him in the park near us. I’ve fucked bottoms with him, etc. It’s been pretty hot.

At some point he became poz and age and possibly the meds seem to have had an impact on his body. Believe it or not he’s considerably thinner than he was back then – he’s almost frail looking now, but I find that pretty hot. I like really little guys.

Just after New Years I’m online and see him online so I send him a message. An hour or so after that I’m at his place (I needed to eat something first). He loves sex. He put me on my back and sucked my dick, got me hard, and then sat on my dick and rode me. Like he’s done with me before, he came on my belly without touching himself.

Getting ridden doesn’t make me cum, so I put him on his belly and started fucking him. For whatever reason I couldn’t cum, so I kept fucking him and fucking him. It just went on and on… At some point I must have cum ’cause my dick started going down – like it does when I cum.

When it was all over I was sorta disappointed I hadn’t felt myself cum, and while he didn’t say it, I got the impression the fuck was a bit too long hard and rough for him. Plus my dinner had included a dish with onions – which was a mistake – I think I had onion breath even though I had brushed my teeth before going over (oops).

We laid there sorta spooning and I was feeling his body. He was SO thin and so little. I asked how much he weighed. He said 120. My bf is the same height and he’s usually 127 to 130ish. There was no way this guy was just 5 or 10 pounds lighter – every part of him was noticeably thinner than my bf. He had to be more like 110. He did say he was self-conscious about his size and weight. I told him I loved it – but I don’t think he quite believed me. But he was so tiny – it really was pretty hot.

All in all it seemed like a bit of a disappointing fuck for both of us. I’m moving out of his neighborhood in a couple of months – it sorta felt like a final fuck with him… Which is sorta too bad. Maybe we can do one more and have it go better so we end on a better note – who knows?

I know some of you have been wondering what’s going on since updates on this site pretty much stopped… Well, it’s pretty simple actually… My bf and I bought a place a couple years ago (an old crack house), and renovations have been consuming a crazy amount of our time (even with a contractor doing all the work).

Bottom line – I haven’t had much time to fuck and haven’t even had enough time to keep up with my sites. The good news is that the end is in sight. I think the contractor will be pretty much done in 4 to 6 weeks – so hopefully we’ll be moved in by the end of February and things will return to normal. I actually miss my regular work (and regular fucks). I just want life to return to normal.

Our new place has a lot more space so there’s the possibility that I can host gangbangs and small sex parties, but there are complicating factors – so we’ll see whether I can do the gangbangs or not. Even if I can’t do gangbangs I can do a lot more videotaping of my fucks – so that’ll be fun.

One really good thing is that, while I’m still uptown, after the move I’ll be a lot closer to downtown. Where I am now I’m just on the A train. But the new place is close to 6 subway lines, 4 of which are express. So I can get to the Upper West Side, Hells Kitchen and Chelsea really quickly (and my tricks from there can get to me quickly).

I have taken a little time out for fun. I’ve fucked a few guys but there are whole months that go by when I don’t fuck anyone. Two hookups in particular stand out – both were in the new place – it’s cool hooking up in a place that’s under construction. In one case this muscle guy who’s almost always a top wanted me to fuck and fist him. It was hot even though I couldn’t manage to cum with him. In another case we had the fireplace working and this other muscle guy and I had sex in front of the fire.

Shooting Porn

I’ve tried to find porn companies to shoot in our place. I love Max Sohl (TIMFuck.com), but when it comes to adventuresome locations he’s a bit of a whimp – so he passed on shooting at our place. Dark Alley (RawFuckClub.com) has a big new expensive studio which they need to justify, so they passed too…

But BK from Forbidden Funk (BlackBreeders.com) shot a scene on that weekend when the (rather anticlimactic) hurricane hit the NYC. Unfortunately, while I did get to see the guys when they were off camera, I didn’t actually get to watch them fuck. They didn’t want people showing up in the background on the video – especially white guys 🙂

The scene featured Kane Rider getting tag teamed by two hot, big-dicked, black tops. I gotta say, I sorta fell in love with Kane. He’s a total exhibitionist. I think he stripped nude even before he was asked to. At the time there were no windows in the place and they kept having to tell him to step away from the windows so neighbors wouldn’t see him. His body was really hot. He’s a little guy (my favorite) with muscles in all the right places. He’s got these really powerful legs and from certain angles he looks particularly good – curvy in a very good way. BK oils up his models before the shoot – which made Kane look even hotter.

But the best part was that Kane seemed like a really sweet guy – sorta submissive, but not a passive sort of submissive – instead he was horny and eager to fuck – which is totally my type personality-wise. The funny part with Kane was he had hit me up on Twitter a month or so before said he was a fan, but when he was doing the shoot he knew I owned the place, but didn’t realize I was rawTOP until the end when I mentioned that he had send me a DM on Twitter.

The two tops fucking Kane were Champ Robinson (the darker top in the pics below) & Wade Stone (the lighter-skinned top). They were nice enough, and they had big dicks, but they were tops, so not really all that memorable given that I’m a top who’s mostly interested in bottoms. A top has to be over-the-top hot for me to really take note of him.

Here are some pics of the action – you can see the construction in the background… Wade started out with some pretty rough fingering while Kane serviced Champ’s dick, which of course lead to fucking…

 Wade’s fingering was so rough just after the 12 minute mark in the video you can see Kane bleeding as Wade fucks him. It’s sorta hot to think the tops’ DNA is going to get absorbed directly into Kane’s bloodstream and his dirty blood is the lube as he gets fucked. It’s not terribly clear in the picture below, but when you watch the video you see the bottom of Wade’s dick is all red with Kane’s blood. You can also see what looks like a tear in the pic below…

Moving on… Both Wade and Champ take turns on Kane’s bloody hole, then they take a breather and then they start fucking in the stairwell…

 Then they took another breather. I think it was during this breather when the guys were joking around and Kane was so horny he started bending over and sucking his own dick… Then went back at it – more or less one-on-one this time. There seemed to be really great chemistry between Wade and Kane – Kane did all sorts of acrobatics to get Wade’s load. Guess Kane likes rough tops 😉  Kane even shows off how he sucks his own dick… That’s one limber fuck boy!

 Of course, after that cum shot Wade sticks his cummy dick up Kane’s well-fucked hole. Given that Wade had Kane bleeding earlier in the shoot – Kane definitely got the full impact of the load 😉  Then when Wade was done with Kane’s hole, like a good slutty bottom boy Kane cleaned off Wade’s dick – making sure he absorbed every last drop of Wade’s dirty load.

Then Wade retired and Champ took over. Doesn’t seem Champ and Kane did much of any fucking – Kane gave Champ a blowjob and then they snowballed the load.

Then Kane jacked off. Kane’s a top in some other videos – but he was just a cumhole in this video.

While Champ and Kane were fucking I learned more about Wade – seems he’s in a serious committed relationship. I got the sense he’s a pretty stable / level-headed / professional sort of guy… Seems like he’s that ideal top so many bottoms want to have for a boyfriend – and he’s got a kinky sexual side to him as well.

You can see the full scene at BlackBreeders.com – it’s titled “Hard Labor”

Best part is, it looks like they’re going to do another, full-on 4 or 5 hour gangbang at our place in a few weeks – once again featuring Kane Rider as the cum dump bottom. I’d love to felch and fuck him after he’s taken all those loads – his ass will be so silky and wonderful, but I’m not sure the circumstances will permit that – but it would be sweet if it happened.

Dick Wadd (RawAndRough.com) has also inquired about shooting at our place this coming month. Given all the piss and other fluids that go flying in their videos I wasn’t quite sure I wanted them in the house until all the floors are sealed, etc. But apparently the sex just looks messy – they actually do a great job cleaning up after themselves. So hopefully that will happen as well.

2011 – Year in Review

Needless to say last year was slow. In fact the numbers were almost the same as 2006 (the first year I started tracking all my fucks) – which is pretty sad… I only had 36 hookups – 27 of them were with guys I hadn’t fucked before. And I only gave 23 loads. One load every two weeks is not good at all… But I knew the year was going to be like that. Unfortunately 2011 was the year when other things were more important than sex. That happens sometimes.

Going Forward – 2012

I was supposed to start the year on January 1 by fucking this guy who was visiting NYC, but the timing didn’t work out. It would have been fun – he’s a young guy who’s only recently started barebacking and he’s conflicted about it – he’s actually turned on by the idea of bug chasing, but also really scared about all the risk. It would have been a lot of fun to do mind fucks on him while fucking him, but it didn’t happen…

Unfortunately I’ve got another two months of chaos before I can get back in the swing of things. I’ve got a hotel reservation for MAL that I made months ago, but it looks like I’ll have to cancel (anyone need a nice corner room?). Even if I found the time to go I’d be too tired to really enjoy it. In late March I’m going to Phoenix (Tempe) for a porn conference – I’m thinking of organizing a gangbang or two while I’m there. And I’ve made a hotel reservation for IML – but I don’t know if I want to fly or drive. Flying was sort of a disaster last time – the police were called when the TSA agent thought my sex toy was a weapon. lol  The time before that I drove, but it’s a long two day drive. It’s relaxing at first, but then it gets sort of boring – especially on the way back. If someone wanted to do the drive with me, it would make it more interesting (any volunteers?)

In terms of the sites, once the chaos is over there’s a whole bunch of stuff I want to do. I think you guys will really like the enhancements – a couple quality bareback tube sites, plus enhancements to Breeding Zone to make it easier to find and hookup with other guys.