I had a long IM chat yesterday with Mason Wyler (a bit over an hour). As a result of the chat my opinion of him has changed for the better…

The last week or so he’s had a lot of shit thrown at him. Someone outed him as poz before he was really ready to make it public, and then, given his history, people started saying all sorts of things about him. Some people even started openly wondering whether this was a bit of a publicity stunt. The skepticism comes from the fact that previously he said he had been raped but then then didn’t follow through with the police investigation. People then wondered whether there was merit to the rape allegations – thinking it had all been a publicity stunt. So this time some people wondered whether this too was a publicity stunt.

Well, after talking with him, I tend to believe 1) he really was raped, and 2) he really is poz.

For me the thing that really made me not particularly like him (as a person) was his blog post back in October 2008. Even to this day I think it’s pretty hostile to poz guys and guys who bareback. He swears I misread it and he his intention was to make fun of the stupidity of people who do fear-based anti-bareback campaigns. I’ll let you decide what you think of it. At a minimum I think you’ll be able to see where it can be interpreted as hostile, even if that wasn’t his intention. The real issue was the he didn’t communicate his thoughts clearly enough in that blog post. He looks at it and sees his original intention, but others of us fail to see that intention. But he’s a porn star, not a copy editor – so I’ll excuse that now that I’ve heard his side of things.

After chatting with him for an hour the worst thing I can say about him is that prior to testing poz he didn’t have any poz friends – so he may not have really understand what it’s like to be poz. That’s hardly a crime. Apparently his day-to-day life is pretty solitary – it’s just him and his boyfriend. I have a similarly codependent relationship and if we weren’t in Manhattan and if my bf weren’t a “people person” I’m sure I’d be in a similar situation. Now he’s starting to chat with some poz guys, but they don’t live near him – but at least he gets to interact with them one way or the other. I really think that will help him.

I still think that the ‘milieu’ he was in was not all that great. For example, his production company refuses to work with poz guys – they won’t even pair poz guys up with each other and have them do condom porn. To his production company, if you’re poz you’re an undesirable leper. As a result when he became poz he assumed his porn career was over because that’s what he was told by his production company – the anti-poz crowd was the only reality he really knew. I think he’s just now realizing that’s not the case – that he’s totally welcome in bareback porn, and there are other condom porn companies that don’t have a problem with him either.

It won’t surprise me if the world of condom porn continues to shun poz guys – there’s a reason why we call them “Condom Nazis”. In fact I sorta dare any (major) condom company to break the conventions and use Mason as a regular performer (more than a few scenes). It’s a statement that really needs to be made – that you can be poz and sexy and there’s a (sex) life after testing poz.

Strangely, the poz-hostile condom producers (who are supposed to be pro-condom) are basically saying condoms are only for neg guys, which means condom usage tends to continue to based in fear – it’s all about neg guys protecting themselves from dirty/evil poz guys. To me that’s just incredibly divisive…

Anyway, back to Mason… After an hour talking with him I really got the sense that he’s a sweet, somewhat submissive guy… He kept calling me ‘Sir’ which was pretty endearing. I don’t know if he just knows the buttons to push with guys like me or if he’s genuinely that way, but I liked our chat a lot… I kept getting the sense that he was sorta vulnerable and that he needed a protector. My daddy instincts kept getting triggered with him… 😉  He would make an incredible boy for some top daddy…

The other side of him is the persona of Mason Wyler. He’s sorta built up this persona that he’s a total slut, and while there does seem to be a side of him that enjoys being a slut (he’s been in 200+ porn videos in about 5 year – averaging one every 9 days for 5 years), his day-to-day life is way more boring and average than that. It seems the persona he created works against him at time like this (and probably back when the whole rape thing was going on). People see the image of a slut and trivialize what he goes through when it comes to things like rape and HIV.

So what’s Mason’s future look like? Well, his porn career will change somewhat… Unfortunately, while there are poz guys in condom porn many of them don’t like to discuss their status, which means all of them have to sorta stay in the closet about their HIV status. As soon as one of them is known to be poz (like Mason) the assumption is that the guys he does scenes with are poz. I hate closets and lies… The whole idea that poz guys can’t be open about things just bugs me.

That means I’d guess Mason will mostly be doing bareback porn (where being poz is no big deal) even though he’s open to both condom and bareback. But he really prefers bareback – so much so that he wishes could start his own bareback porn production company (though he doesn’t have the capital to do it). Frankly, I’m really glad he’ll be doing bareback porn. I’m totally looking forward to featuring it here on the site. It’ll be hot seeing him take loads 😉

In terms of Mason’s personal future – I get the sense he still has a few things to figure out about being poz, but that’s to be expected. Hopefully he’ll get some poz friends and compare notes. If you’re in Houston and poz (and don’t want to just get in his pants) you might try hitting him up – I got the sense he’d really like a local poz buddy…

But all in all, he’ll be fine… I’m guessing he’ll be better than ever a year from now…

UPDATE: I had an hour long IM chat session with Mason Wyler. It changed my perception of him and I think I understand him a lot better now. Read my write up of the chat…

If you haven’t heard by now, Mason Wyler disclosed this week that he tested HIV+ in May, but he only came out with the news after having his status “outed”. What I’m about to say here is a lot of conjecture, but I’d almost put money on most of it being true…

Let’s go back to October 2008 when Mason posted a blog post with alternate wording to the song “Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer”…

Then all the gay boys hated him
as they shouted out with glee:
“Bobby with your unsafe sex,
you’ll die alone in misery!”

From that post it’s clear Mason looks down on poz guys and apparently thinks barebacking is so awful that barebackers are punished by becoming poz and that they will (or should) die alone in misery. Thing was, even when he wrote that, he was secretly attracted to barebacking. A few months after that post he put up blog posts talking about his attraction to bareback sex and bareback porn and then he’d take them down a little while later apparently out of shame/guilt. [Read more in my blog post back then about Mason’s love/hate relationship with barebacking.]

Now he’s poz and apparently still holds his negative attitude about poz guys. Even the wording of his disclosure shows he feels shame and self-hatred…

I tested positive. I have only myself to blame. I have HIV and it kind of sucks.

“Blame”… There’s no acceptance in that statement – just self-loathing and shame. I mean really, in what way has his life changed? Well, maybe some condom-Nazi studios won’t work with him any more, but other than that, how is his life all that worse now than it was a couple years ago?

And lets not forget – with the amount of sex someone like Mason has, there’s a good chance he got infected through safe sex. He hasn’t revealed details, but safe sex is not safe – it’s just lower risk. Have enough of it and the cumulative risk builds up. If he was fucking a lot with condoms then he could have very well gotten infected that way – which makes his shame all the more sad (potentially).

Then a few days after he disclosed his status he felt the need to clarify things a bit…

I have not gone around fucking, barebacking, or infecting HIV negative people. I am a sex fiend. I am NOT a monster.

So apparently he thinks poz guys who have sex with neg guys are monsters. Interesting choice of words. To be blunt, the poz guys I fuck are anything but monsters. And guys who have bareback sex are consenting adults.

So let’s put things in perspective… First off, he’s a HOT messed up little boy who is listening to all the wrong people. I mentioned he’s hot, right? I mean that is one beautiful poz ass…

But I digress… The issue here is Mason’s fear, loathing, shame and self-hatred. It’s just sad. He’s like this confused messed up little boy. Where did he get the idea poz guys die alone in misery? Really? Who gave him that idea? Probably “Condom Nazis”. And they think barebackers and bareback porn are hurting the gay community. As far as I’m concerned their fear and hatred does more damage to our community than barebacking ever will. Mind you, back in the day there really was something to fear – HIV could kill you in a couple years. But these days I’m more worried when I find out someone is a chain smoker or likes to PNP.

I’m not saying HIV is desirable, instead I’m saying it’s really sad to see someone like Mason hate himself for becoming poz. It’s completely possible he got pozzed by a high-viral load top while he was wearing a condom. Most poz guys are on meds, and it’s safer to bareback with a poz guy who’s on meds than it is to have protected sex with a poz guy who’s not on meds. I don’t get the sense that he has any big picture sorta perspective. It’s like he’s back in the late 80’s and he thinks his life just ended or something.

There’s a reason why I tell guys to accept risks before they take them. If you like taking anonymous loads, just accept the fact that you’ll probably become poz, it’s not the end of the world, and then go on and enjoy your life. I don’t get the sense that Mason is enjoying his life or that he’s accepted and embraced his new status. He loves sex and has only hooked up 3 times since he tested poz in May. For someone like him that’s just horribly wrong. It’s done. It’s over. Move on and make the most of it…

And for god’s sake reject all the negativity and the people who spread it…

I really hope Mason comes to peace with being poz and learns to make the most of it. I would love to see him in some good bareback porn – maybe getting gangbanged by a bunch of poz tops. That’s one video which would be really hot if it included “poz talk” – seeing him get past his fear and really embrace being poz and beg guys to shoot toxic loads in his cunt would be incredible.

Load 2010-26

Yesterday I had a hardon that just wouldn’t quit and I needed to fuck. I hadn’t cum in a full week, I wasn’t stressed about anything, had a little free time and I’d taken 1/2 a capsule of the herbal stuff – it all added up to being totally horny. My dick was so hard it had no problem lifting my PA and given the size of the PA (0 gauge, 1″ diameter) it’s a bit like lifting weights with my dick. lol  Here’s a pic…

It was sorta cool being able to pop a boner so easily. It was fun playing with my cock. The PA flops all sorts of weird directions when it’s not hanging straight down (see pic to the right). Sometimes it hurts a bit when the ring gets dried precum on it, but generally it doesn’t hurt all that much.

So obviously, being so horny I hunted for hole to seed. I didn’t have so much time that I could travel – at least not enough time to travel downtown where most of the willing cumholes are, and it’s not easy to get guys to come uptown. This one guy who I fucked a long time ago said he’d come over. But he’d flaked on me recently, so I didn’t hold out a lot of hope, and surprise, surprise, he flaked again.

There’s this one cumhole who’s walking distance from me. A long time ago (2007 I think), I fucked him. I still remember the hookup clearly. A top had me come over and tag the bottom’s ass with him. This was back in the day when I was trying to serosort. I asked the top if the bottom was neg, he said yes. After we fucked him I was walking back to the subway with him and the subject of HIV status came up and he said he was poz. Turns out the top hadn’t even asked – he just told me what I wanted to hear.

Anyway, I’m long past trying to serosort and have been intending to hookup with the bottom again, but it just never happened. Yesterday he said he was available, but I had plans with the guy who stood me up. I told him my plans might not work out and he said to hit him up if the other guy flaked. A couple hours pass and I hit him up after the other guy didn’t show up. He said he had some other guys over. I told him to give me the address, and I’d come over. Other than him, I had no clue who would be there.

So, he gives me the address and it turns out to be the same building as the submissive piss bottom who stood me up recently. I checked the apartment number wondering if they were roommates or something. They’re not – just the same building, but this means I’ve fucked more than one person from the same building – not sure I’ve done that before.

I show up and someone else answers the door, which doesn’t surprise me. I head in and when I get to the bedroom I’m the 6th guy there. There are two bears (one quite chubby). An older skinny guy who’s all over the chub (they left right after I got there and went into the living room). Then there’s this cute little guy, plus the guy I was there to fuck. The guy I was there to fuck was sucking the bear’s cock when I walked in and the cute guy was just watching. I was pleasantly surprised with how nice of a body the guy had who I was there to see (the host). It had been a long time since I’d seen him.

I strip down and as I start taking out my PA, then someone sees it and starts complimenting it. I ask if I should leave it in or take it out and everyone says leave it in.

Once I’m naked and start to play and then I realize that I’m on cam. UGH… I hadn’t really paid too much attention to all the video screens. One was playing porn and another had up all these guys who were doing cam sessions. I hadn’t really thought about what that meant. As soon as I realized it I just kept it in mind and kept my face offscreen – wasn’t that big of a deal.

The host switched positions and the bear went to fucking him while the host sucked my cock. Sucking a dick with a huge PA isn’t easy (or probably very nice) since the metal keeps knocking against your teeth. He tried it for a while and then stopped and wanted to get fucked. About this time someone offered me some GHB, and then followed it up by “or Tina – we have both”. I had figured they were all PNPing, but didn’t really want to think about that part too much. Needless to say, I declined.

I start pushing my ring into the host’s hole. Getting my dick in is never easy when I’ve got the PA in. I sorta push the ring in first with my fingers, and then use my dick to get it the rest of the way in. The pic to the right sorta shows how it tends to flop to the side. That’s pretty much the position it’s in when it’s going in the bottom’s ass. Needless to say, you can’t really get it in a tight hole. But a tight hole wasn’t a problem in this case – he was flying high and feeling no pain…

I shoved in and fucked him. Every time I’d hit the bottom of his hole it was a bit painful for me so I didn’t fuck him all that hard. Plus, I hadn’t cum in a week and didn’t want to cum too quickly – I knew it would come fairly fast even if I held back.

When I started feeling like I was about to cum I tried to hold back. I commented that I was about to cum, but I don’t think he heard me ’cause at that moment he decided he needed to go piss – that he just couldn’t hold it. If I had to guess I’d say I was hitting his bladder on every stroke. In cases like that you just gotta piss so you don’t literally piss all over the bed.

As soon as he was gone, I wanted to get inside the cute little guy. He had been fucking the bear, but had crystal dick and wasn’t all that hard. But before I could say or do anything the bear turns around, presents his ass and basically says “fuck me”. Bear butt isn’t really my favorite thing, but I figured, what the hell and push in. I really wanted to give my load to host or to the cute little guy, so I was trying hard not to cum in the bear, but his hole was like a muscular shoot and was grabbing my dick in ways that made it so there was no way I could hold back. Finally, I just couldn’t help it. I said “I’m cumming” and dumped a really big, thick 7 day load up his ass.

Right after that the host came back. I pulled out of the bear, told the host I’d just cum. He was a little disappointed, but since I was still quite hard I told him I could still fuck, so he got back on all fours and I went back to fucking him. I fucked him for a while. He wanted me to fuck him on his belly but the bear and the cute little guy were in the way and I didn’t really want my face on cam, so I just kept fucking him doggy style. Thing was, with the PA it was a little painful, so not all that much fun. I fucked him for a while and finally just pulled out and stopped. Had the circumstances been different I might have continued.

I went to the bathroom to take a piss and wash off my PA, then got dressed, said my goodbyes and started to go. As I’m leaving the chub and the older skinny guy ask me if something is wrong (since I’m leaving so quickly). They were so high they didn’t really have a good sense for how long I’d been there. And I don’t think they understood that I was sober and just there for a pump-and-dump. I smiled, told them everything was fine, and left.

I’m not exactly sure what to think of the whole PNP crowd. On one hand they’re consenting adults who have the right to do what they want. On the other hand it just seems a bit sad to me. I wonder if most or all of their friendships are tied to drug use? I wonder what their ‘real lives’ are like – do they have their shit together and are they productive when they’re not partying? Or are they using drugs as an escape from a miserable life? I don’t really know. Everyone there was happy and smiling and friendly, but I knew it was drug induced – it didn’t feel like genuine, sincere happiness. There was more, but I don’t really want to go into it. Needless to say their “scene” held no attraction to me other than the fact that it’s a good place to dump a load in a hole and be on my way. They got what they wanted. I got what I wanted… Would I do it again? Absolutely – I like easy cumholes and there was a room full of them.

Over on Breeding Zone I archive the world of bareback blogging just because I’ve seen so many blogs fall by the wayside over the years and it’s a shame to see all their stories just disappear. Hell, a blogger named Geek Slut is the blogger who inspired me to start my blog and all his stories are gone now. I really wish I could go back and read his old stories, but I can’t.

Anyway, I pulled the feed for one blogger who took serious offense at the fact that I pulled and used his RSS feed. Umm, it’s public, he didn’t use snippets, and the last S in RSS stands for ‘syndication’ – which is exactly what I was doing. There’s long-standing precedents for archiving web content – take a look at archive.org and you can see what web sites looked like going back over 10 years. I don’t think he understands the web well enough to understand all that – whatever…

However, his biggest issue seemed to be that he hated being associated with me… On his blog he the following of me…

[rawTOP] repulses me physically, morally and character-wise; he’s sincerely damaged

I love how he throws in not liking my body with the other things – as if there’s a connection between the two. lol

Then he described our brief conversation as follows…

I then explained how I found his views, opinions and more importantly, actions morally repugnant to me and did not want to associate myself with him or his blog. He then went into a diatribe of how he’s a regular Mother Teresa and essentially providing a service to all young kids who (misguidedly!) want to become HIV +.

Actually, I never said any of that. I said more or less what I said above – that I’m trying to preserve the the written legacy of barebackers. In the brief conversation we did have he said the following…

The reality is, I hold NO opinions that coincide with yours (I don’t even respect them) and you do and write things on your blog that make me cringe, specifically intentionally trying to “convert” people to HIV to please an audience. That is so fucking twisted and abusive that it’s devoid of any morality. Meaning, and this is VERY important, I wouldn’t WANT any followers from your blog. I understand you’re only trying to make money. Just don’t do it off me as I don’t want to be in any way associated with you or your blog

Ummm… As far as I know, I’m neg. How exactly am I trying to convert people to HIV? (Sounds like a religion, the way he’s talking about it). If he’s talking about the fact that I find bug chasing sorta fascinating, I allow it to be discussed on my forum, and I think it’s a lot more honest than burying your head in the sand and pretending that being a bareback bottom won’t make you poz – well, yeah, but that’s not anywhere close to what he’s saying try to “convert” people.

Bottom line – my point of view is consistent and honest. His is just fucked up. He has a blog dedicated to his bareback exploits – that’s what you’d call promoting barebacking. Barebacking is risky – especially for bottoms. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss that risk apparently. In the same blog post where he criticizes me he talks about how he convinced to some tops to take raw dick. So he talks about how it’s fun to get guys to take risks, but then wants to pretend he lives in a world where there are no risks. Yeah, that’s way more responsible than what I do…

There are three mentions of ‘risk’ on his blog – one was the risk of getting caught having public sex, another was in a comment submitted by a user, and the third was he didn’t want to “risk” cumming too quickly, so he put on a condom to reduce the sensation and last longer.

There are also three mentions of HIV on his blog – one is in reference to me, the other two are complaining that he realized two of the bottoms he fucked were poz after he fucked them. [Dude, assume all bareback bottoms are poz and you’ll be a hell of a lot closer to the truth.] The words ‘poz’ and ‘pos’ never show up on his blog (only HIV).

Apparently his is a world where “neg” bareback bottoms are really neg and risk never needs to be discussed or explored. Problem is, that world doesn’t really exist. I know, I tried living in it and found things just didn’t work that way.

My approach is to acknowledge the risk, discuss the risk, figure out if it’s right for the particular person, and then have them take responsibility for their sex life and accept the potential consequences ideally before they take the risk. Yes, in some cases “accepting the consequences” means the person embraces the consequences and actually seeks out getting pozzed. It’s their sex life and it’s an informed decision – who is he to say that’s wrong? I have WAY more respect for bug chasers than I do for guys who think they can get fucked raw all the time and stay neg.

I know some guys just don’t want to think about HIV and risk. I get that. But if you’ve never thought about it and you’re kidding yourself by thinking you can have high risk sex and stay neg – then you’re doing a disservice to  yourself and others. While there’s no need to constantly think about the risk – think about it long enough to figure out what’s right for you – so deep down you understand and accept the risks.

So what do you think? Does he have a point?

[And no, I’m not going to tell you who he is and I’ll delete any comments that say who he is… He doesn’t need the free publicity.]

Load 2010-25

Last week the beefy Asian (that looks a bit like a young Samoan warrior) came over. It’s funny, I always say there are exceptions and he sorta proves the point – if you described his body in stats or words, or even showed me an accurate pic, I might not be all that interested ’cause he’s beefier/heavier than I usually go for. But I really like fucking him – it just works with him – he’s definitely the exception to the rule for me. The fact that he’s really cute and has a great hole helps a lot… 😉

It’d been about a month since the last time I fucked him. At one point a couple weeks after we fucked he got all sensitive on me and thought just ’cause I didn’t hookup with him again right after the first time – that I didn’t like him. People really don’t understand me sometimes… So many guys think I’m not interested in them when I am interested – it’s just circumstances aren’t working out. The truth of the matter is I don’t hookup all that much (compared to some guys). I mean this is only the 35th hookup I’ve had this year… We’re about 30 weeks into the year, so that’s just over 1 hookup a week. And there are a lot of bottoms out there who are looking for loads, and I’m uptown and it’s not always easy to hookup – timing is often everything with me. And then there are the times when I’m online, but not looking. And for god’s sake, I’ve got a boyfriend – I’m not really looking for some deep, meaningful relationship. If I’m looking for anything it’s guys to go drinking with – but lately haven’t fucked any of the guys I’ve gone drinking with (though there is one I want to fuck)…

So anyway, all that got worked out and he came over last week. He saw my bf was cooking when he arrived which freaked him out a bit, but soon we were in the bedroom stripping down and getting busy. I sucked his dick for a bit, then I had him get on the bed on all fours and I ate out his ass. He’s got a nice smooth hole, and rimming a good hole always gets me totally hard. I had skipped the Viagra and taken the herbal stuff. When I’m horny to start with it works well and I’m not really liking Viagra so far. Anyway, the herbal stuff was working just fine. After eating out his hole I was nice and thick and hard.

I got up, grabbed some Wet Platinum (I know I sound like an advertisement today – but so far I’ve cum every time when using the stuff), lubed up my dick, put a little on his hole and shoved in. His hole felt good. It had been 4 days since I had cum, so I knew I would cum pretty easily. I wanted to give him a decent length fuck, so I fucked him on all fours for a little while. I knew I wasn’t going to cum that way, but then my need to cum sorta took over and I pushed him flat on his belly, got at a little angle where his hole was rubbing my cock just right and kept going. He moved around a little, but I discouraged it. I wanted him nice and still so I could concentrate on how his ass was grabbing my dick. It felt good. Needless to say, I came pretty quickly at that point. All in all the fuck hadn’t lasted all that long. I kept going – slow dicking his cummy hole, but finally pulled out.

A couple days ago I was thinking how I never look my bottoms in the eye when I’m fucking them and cumming in their asses. I gotta try that one of these days. But I also sorta like keeping the sex impersonal and treating them like a hole. Afterwards is where I get tender with the guys I fucked. We laid there and sorta caressed each other. It was so relaxing for him he actually fell asleep briefly at one point (the second guy in a row that happened with – I’m starting to wonder – lol). We talked a little, he jacked off, we had some more quiet tender moments, and then he left.

I was in the middle of doing some porn blogging when he had arrived, so when he left I went back to it. I finished up the post about the top with the 10″ dick, and then randomly picked a video from Bareback Masters to blog. I had to do a double take… The bottom in the video (Ian Cody) looked a lot like the guy I had just fucked. In the pics he was younger, thinner, lacked a tattoo, and had bleach blond hair, but there was one pic where his lips had a certain look and I just knew it was him – I’d had those lips inches from my face 15 minutes earlier.

I texted him to ask if had done porn and he more or less said yes. I sorta put my foot in my mouth saying I thought he was hotter now than he was back then which he (being a bit sensitive to start with) interpreted as I didn’t think he was very hot back then. I googled his name and found other pics of him – some were quite hot and he totally looked great with bleach blond hair. I tried to respond in a way to get my foot out of my mouth, but I don’t think he was buying it. But I really didn’t see how it mattered – I’m fucking who he is today, and I think he’s hot now.

Sorta a weird coincidence to sit down and find his pics right after fucking him… Hopefully we’ll hookup again soon…

I’ve got a bit of an odd situation… This hot 22 y.o. jock wants to be my ‘boy’ – as in a live-in, dedicated relationship where he’s my primary fuck hole. He’s not in New York, I’ve never hooked up with him, but he’s coming to New York later this month for a few months and will probably stay here permanently…

Here’s the good parts…

• He’s HOT:
  • 22 y.o.
  • Great body (see pic)
  • VERY attractive
• He’s very submissive and wants to be owned
• He likes daddies and bears
• He’s be interested in puppy play
• He’ll drink piss
• He understands/accepts that I’ll fuck other bottoms, not just him, and that there’s a risk of STDs, etc.
• He understands/accepts that my bf comes first and is willing to do a 3way arrangement where he’s be a boy for both of us
• He’s bright, professional, and has a lot going for him other than his looks and submissiveness

But there are things that make me wonder…

• He’s only ever been fucked by 4 guys, and has never had cum in his ass – I’ll be the first person to breed him
• He’s only ever had sex (of any sort) with 20-30 guys (he seems to mostly like oral)
• He’s never met me and has a hard time explaining why he’s into me other than I’m his type and he’s been reading my blog for years
• I can tell he really would prefer a 1-on-1 monogamous relationship with a dom top / master – not a 3way open relationship

Bottom line, I think he’s built me up in his mind and when he really gets to know me he’ll realize I don’t match is fantasy and that will be the end of things. While a good dom top isn’t easy to find, if anyone can get exactly what he wants it’s someone like him – young, hot and focused. I honestly think he’ll realize New York is so big that there are tops who exactly match what he’s looking for and he’ll “trade up”.

Still, there’s a decent chance he’s for real and I’m not going to pass up the chance that something like this can work out. I would be totally hot to take him in full puppy gear to some place like MAL or IML or even just out to the Eagle for drinks. It would also be nice to have a hot ass to fuck and seed whenever I want. And while we don’t really have space in our apartment for a 3rd person right now, that’ll change next year when we move into our new place.

I’ve talked it over with my bf, since having a boy would be a major change in our relationship – He’s also skeptical, but like me sorta hopeful and willing to try it out.

So what do people think? Anyone have experience with a similar relationship?

UPDATE: The boy flaked on me. It’s been about a week and a half since I heard from him. He just sorta disappeared. Maybe he got cold feet. Maybe it was all a fantasy. Guess I’ll never know. Oh well. Woulda been nice, but it’s clearly not going to happen.