Load 2010-26

Yesterday I had a hardon that just wouldn’t quit and I needed to fuck. I hadn’t cum in a full week, I wasn’t stressed about anything, had a little free time and I’d taken 1/2 a capsule of the herbal stuff – it all added up to being totally horny. My dick was so hard it had no problem lifting my PA and given the size of the PA (0 gauge, 1″ diameter) it’s a bit like lifting weights with my dick. lol  Here’s a pic…

It was sorta cool being able to pop a boner so easily. It was fun playing with my cock. The PA flops all sorts of weird directions when it’s not hanging straight down (see pic to the right). Sometimes it hurts a bit when the ring gets dried precum on it, but generally it doesn’t hurt all that much.

So obviously, being so horny I hunted for hole to seed. I didn’t have so much time that I could travel – at least not enough time to travel downtown where most of the willing cumholes are, and it’s not easy to get guys to come uptown. This one guy who I fucked a long time ago said he’d come over. But he’d flaked on me recently, so I didn’t hold out a lot of hope, and surprise, surprise, he flaked again.

There’s this one cumhole who’s walking distance from me. A long time ago (2007 I think), I fucked him. I still remember the hookup clearly. A top had me come over and tag the bottom’s ass with him. This was back in the day when I was trying to serosort. I asked the top if the bottom was neg, he said yes. After we fucked him I was walking back to the subway with him and the subject of HIV status came up and he said he was poz. Turns out the top hadn’t even asked – he just told me what I wanted to hear.

Anyway, I’m long past trying to serosort and have been intending to hookup with the bottom again, but it just never happened. Yesterday he said he was available, but I had plans with the guy who stood me up. I told him my plans might not work out and he said to hit him up if the other guy flaked. A couple hours pass and I hit him up after the other guy didn’t show up. He said he had some other guys over. I told him to give me the address, and I’d come over. Other than him, I had no clue who would be there.

So, he gives me the address and it turns out to be the same building as the submissive piss bottom who stood me up recently. I checked the apartment number wondering if they were roommates or something. They’re not – just the same building, but this means I’ve fucked more than one person from the same building – not sure I’ve done that before.

I show up and someone else answers the door, which doesn’t surprise me. I head in and when I get to the bedroom I’m the 6th guy there. There are two bears (one quite chubby). An older skinny guy who’s all over the chub (they left right after I got there and went into the living room). Then there’s this cute little guy, plus the guy I was there to fuck. The guy I was there to fuck was sucking the bear’s cock when I walked in and the cute guy was just watching. I was pleasantly surprised with how nice of a body the guy had who I was there to see (the host). It had been a long time since I’d seen him.

I strip down and as I start taking out my PA, then someone sees it and starts complimenting it. I ask if I should leave it in or take it out and everyone says leave it in.

Once I’m naked and start to play and then I realize that I’m on cam. UGH… I hadn’t really paid too much attention to all the video screens. One was playing porn and another had up all these guys who were doing cam sessions. I hadn’t really thought about what that meant. As soon as I realized it I just kept it in mind and kept my face offscreen – wasn’t that big of a deal.

The host switched positions and the bear went to fucking him while the host sucked my cock. Sucking a dick with a huge PA isn’t easy (or probably very nice) since the metal keeps knocking against your teeth. He tried it for a while and then stopped and wanted to get fucked. About this time someone offered me some GHB, and then followed it up by “or Tina – we have both”. I had figured they were all PNPing, but didn’t really want to think about that part too much. Needless to say, I declined.

I start pushing my ring into the host’s hole. Getting my dick in is never easy when I’ve got the PA in. I sorta push the ring in first with my fingers, and then use my dick to get it the rest of the way in. The pic to the right sorta shows how it tends to flop to the side. That’s pretty much the position it’s in when it’s going in the bottom’s ass. Needless to say, you can’t really get it in a tight hole. But a tight hole wasn’t a problem in this case – he was flying high and feeling no pain…

I shoved in and fucked him. Every time I’d hit the bottom of his hole it was a bit painful for me so I didn’t fuck him all that hard. Plus, I hadn’t cum in a week and didn’t want to cum too quickly – I knew it would come fairly fast even if I held back.

When I started feeling like I was about to cum I tried to hold back. I commented that I was about to cum, but I don’t think he heard me ’cause at that moment he decided he needed to go piss – that he just couldn’t hold it. If I had to guess I’d say I was hitting his bladder on every stroke. In cases like that you just gotta piss so you don’t literally piss all over the bed.

As soon as he was gone, I wanted to get inside the cute little guy. He had been fucking the bear, but had crystal dick and wasn’t all that hard. But before I could say or do anything the bear turns around, presents his ass and basically says “fuck me”. Bear butt isn’t really my favorite thing, but I figured, what the hell and push in. I really wanted to give my load to host or to the cute little guy, so I was trying hard not to cum in the bear, but his hole was like a muscular shoot and was grabbing my dick in ways that made it so there was no way I could hold back. Finally, I just couldn’t help it. I said “I’m cumming” and dumped a really big, thick 7 day load up his ass.

Right after that the host came back. I pulled out of the bear, told the host I’d just cum. He was a little disappointed, but since I was still quite hard I told him I could still fuck, so he got back on all fours and I went back to fucking him. I fucked him for a while. He wanted me to fuck him on his belly but the bear and the cute little guy were in the way and I didn’t really want my face on cam, so I just kept fucking him doggy style. Thing was, with the PA it was a little painful, so not all that much fun. I fucked him for a while and finally just pulled out and stopped. Had the circumstances been different I might have continued.

I went to the bathroom to take a piss and wash off my PA, then got dressed, said my goodbyes and started to go. As I’m leaving the chub and the older skinny guy ask me if something is wrong (since I’m leaving so quickly). They were so high they didn’t really have a good sense for how long I’d been there. And I don’t think they understood that I was sober and just there for a pump-and-dump. I smiled, told them everything was fine, and left.

I’m not exactly sure what to think of the whole PNP crowd. On one hand they’re consenting adults who have the right to do what they want. On the other hand it just seems a bit sad to me. I wonder if most or all of their friendships are tied to drug use? I wonder what their ‘real lives’ are like – do they have their shit together and are they productive when they’re not partying? Or are they using drugs as an escape from a miserable life? I don’t really know. Everyone there was happy and smiling and friendly, but I knew it was drug induced – it didn’t feel like genuine, sincere happiness. There was more, but I don’t really want to go into it. Needless to say their “scene” held no attraction to me other than the fact that it’s a good place to dump a load in a hole and be on my way. They got what they wanted. I got what I wanted… Would I do it again? Absolutely – I like easy cumholes and there was a room full of them.

Load 2010-24

Last week I was chatting up this Asian guy on BBRT. He was out of town but said he was planning on coming to NYC the next weekend. All of a sudden he said…

So I just confirmed my trip to NYC this Friday-Sunday. When can we meet? … It was your PA that made the decision point.

From the sound of it he was coming into town specifically to get fucked by me and my PA. In one way it’s nice, in another it sorta obligated me to hookup with him. (If you’re reading this and thinking of doing something similar – don’t do it – chances are I will not be able to hookup with you).

His pics were just so-so and I wondered what I had just gotten myself into. On the other hand, he wanted to get fucked with a PA and it had been a while since I did that and there were things about him that looked interesting… He was Asian and I like Asian guys. He seemed like he was in reasonably good shape, but not great shape, but good enough. And the part that was most curious was that his profile didn’t just say he was neg, but in his profile text he listed the date of his last test. But he asked me no questions and his “looking for” status was “no preference”. Combine that with his wanting to get fucked by a PA that would probably tear him up a bit and he seemed like a bit of a hungry pig – that much I knew I was going to like.

We exchanged texts and set up a time. I really did get the sense that he came into town specifically to get fucked by me and my PA – it was sorta weird. Friday evening I had a barbecue at a friend’s place in Jersey, so we arranged to meet Saturday afternoon.

That morning I decided I’d take a hot bath, try to stretch my PA and get my 0 gauge ring in. It didn’t happen – I didn’t get the 0 gauge ring in until the next day. But I thought it would be cool to  fuck with the additional weight of the 0 gauge. In hindsight it was good it didn’t go in. The 0 gauge has been a little painful as my hole stretches to adapt to it. Probably would have been a really bad idea to fuck with it a few hours after going up to the bigger size. As it turned out this was the last fuck with the 2 gauge – seems appropriate to fuck with it the last day it was in – sorta like a going away party for the ring – lol.

Now my next issue was that my PA is sorta distracting. I don’t fuck with it (very often) ’cause when it’s in I don’t perform as well. So knowing he wanted to get fucked with the PA was a bit of a complication. I decided to do both my herbal stuff as well as a little Viagra. So first thing in the morning I took some of the herbal stuff and then a couple hours before I was supposed to meet him I took about a 1/3rd of a Viagra (maybe a little less). I just hoped it would work well enough…

You’d think if he was coming into town specifically to get fucked by me he’d pick a hotel that was easy for me to get to. Instead he picked one down near Wall Street. And then on top of it there was track work and I wound up having to go all the way to Brooklyn double back to get to him. It took a bit over an hour for me to get there. I did feel the Viagra kick in when we got to 59th Street, but by the time I was finally approaching his hotel I was thinking “I hope he’s worth it…” Oh yeah – and the temperature was in the 90’s with high humidity…

Then I get into the elevator at his hotel and realize you need a key card to get up to the guest floors. I texted him to come down. When he got there I was shocked – he was totally cute – unlike his pics, he was quite thin – so thin I’d call him skinny. And his face was so much more adorable than his pics – he looked like a bit of a nerd in his pics. He real life had this hot faux hawk and was 110% my type… Not perfect, but I don’t expect perfection – but he was damn close to it. Needless to say I was glad I bothered to hookup with him.

We get to his hotel room and strip down. He was totally into me (which I always find odd coming from guys who have great bodies), and as I’ve said I was totally into him. I had forgotten that he told me he liked to party. So it turned into a 3way with Tina/Chrissy… But oddly, he did it 3 times while I was there and the interaction with him was completely normal – like he wasn’t doing anything at all. Again, I lucked out… There wasn’t even the weird odor I’ve smelled when guys smoked up before sex – I wonder what it was that he was doing – maybe it wasn’t Tina… Anyway, a minor distraction, but not a problem.

We made out and I felt up his body for a little while. Then he sucked my cock for a few minutes. Then he got on all fours on the bed and I started eating him out. He had told me he took a load earlier in the day, but it was in there pretty deep (or he had cleaned out) ’cause I didn’t taste anything. He had a great ass and I finally got totally hard.

I stood up and started pushing my PA and cock into his ass. It’s always a little tricky getting such a big ring up some guy’s ass without hurting him or me in the process, but I did finally get it up there. I fucked him doggy style for a while, but every time I’d hit bottom in his ass it was a little painful for me as the ring would double back. So I pushed him onto his belly thinking maybe I wouldn’t get as deep in his ass that way.

With him on his belly there was still a little pain but not so much, but what I really noticed was hot small he was underneath me. He felt good… really good… There was something about his body where his hole was just in the perfect place for me. As you might guess, it wasn’t long before I was blowing my load in his hole. Between the Viagra and the herbal stuff I stayed hard after cumming and kept fucking his cummy hole (more slowly) for a while.

Finally I pulled out and he cleaned off my dick (it’s sorta surprising how many guys are into ATM these days – it seems everyone wants to clean off my dick after it comes out of their ass)… And given that my big PA digs up shit even in “clean” bottoms it said a lot about his ability to clean out that he could suck the dick right after it fucked him. Then I got behind him and started eating out his cummy hole. It tasted great… It’s sorta weird tasting my cum when I’m rimming a guy. I had fucked him enough after cumming that he had a fair amount of cum outside his ass – I didn’t have to work too hard to get my fill of cum.

We then laid around for a bit and chatted, cuddled, sucked each other’s cocks, etc. After 20 minutes or so I got hard enough for round two, but I wasn’t totally hard. In the past I’d noticed that my ring would hold my semi-hard cock in a guy’s ass, so I pushed the ring in and fucked him. I wasn’t totally hard and it was sorta an odd fuck. Seemed it was pretty intense for him – probably because my ring wasn’t as deep in his ass and when I’d pull out a bit the ring would stretch his sphincter. For me it wasn’t the greatest of fucks, but he seemed to like it because the PA was causing some pretty intense sensations.

I wasn’t going to cum, so eventually I just pulled out and we went back to cuddling, talking, sucking cock, etc. At this point I asked him what was up with him since he put the date of his last HIV test in his profile but then had “no preference” in for “looking for” status. He misinterpreted what I said and before I got “no preference” out he said “‘don’t care’ – did I forget to change that?” In other words before his test his HIV status was apparently listed as “don’t care”. Anyway, his answer was pretty simple – he had gotten into barebacking, loved it, never wanted to use condoms again and knew he’d eventually become poz. That still didn’t answer my question as to whether putting his HIV test date in his profile was there to attract neg tops or attract gift giving poz breeders. Either way, I didn’t get the sense he was bug chasing so much as just aware it would happen sooner or later and enjoying life in the process.

I seem to get a fair number of guys assuming I’m poz. I wonder if his coming to NYC paying for transportation and hotel mostly just to get fucked by one top wasn’t because he was thinking that being fucked with a big PA would be a memorable way to get pozzed. Thing was, even when we were discussing his status he didn’t ask questions about mine… He clearly just didn’t want to know. There are times when I wish I could be a mind reader…

When we went to fuck the third time I took my ring out. It was a big enough distraction I knew I’d do better without it. I rimmed him little before I started, but by this time his ass was pretty musky from all the fucking and cum, so it really wasn’t that big of a turn on. But when I went to fuck him it was a good fuck. Once again we started with him on all fours. He was jacking his dick, which usually I don’t like, but it wasn’t interfering with anything. Then he stopped and I asked if he had cum – he had. He didn’t ask me to stop, so I pushed him onto his belly and kept fucking him. There was something about his hole that felt incredible. It was cummy and I was going in at just the right angle, and of course like before I could feel how small he was under me. I almost came a second time. In all my preparations for that day I had forgotten my cock ring. Had I remembered it my dick might have been a little thicker and a little more sensitive and I just might have cum the second time. For me it was probably my favorite fuck of the day – even though I didn’t cum.

Afterwards we cuddled and he actually fell asleep in my arms for a few minutes. Eventually I had to go. It had been a busy 2 hours and I needed to get home.

All in all an excellent fuck…

Load 2010-7

I’m not doing too well with giving loads this year… It’s the middle April and I’ve only given 7 loads and the last one was 25 days ago… Oh well…

There were actually two hookups since my last post. One of them was with a 6’5″ XXL chub – not sure what in the hell I was thinking but the “neg, safe sex only, versatile top” part of his profile turned me on…

Last night I was looking initially, but didn’t find anything other that stuff downtown and I didn’t want to travel. This morning I got online and wasn’t expecting to find anything, but this guy hit me up on BBRT and was up for coming over. We set a time but he was late getting here, but he did finally arrive – with all these shopping bags. It was 10am in the morning – so it’s not like he’d just come from shopping. When we got to the bedroom he explained that he’d been up all night “partying”… He didn’t seem too messy, but he was a bit messy – sorta a bit hyper.

He kept asking for permission for everything which was a bit cute. He even asked permission to suck my cock, which of course I let him do… When I started feeling his butt it felt either cummy or lubed, couldn’t tell which. I asked him if he had any loads in there and he said “yeah, as many as I can get, until I can’t get fucked anymore.” OK, so he was so tweaked he didn’t understand the question… I gave up and got him on the bed had him suck me a little more and then turned him over and fucked him.

He was so tweaked there was no real connection with him – he was just a hole. He actually had a really nice body – it looked especially good when he was face down on my bed. Wet lube had sent me this huge variety pack of lubes, shaving creams, etc. and so I was trying out some of the old style oil-based lube (I like the fact that it’s not condom compatible)… I was fucking him pretty hard but my dick wasn’t quite getting the stimulation it needed… Not hitting the right places or something. I finally sorta just wore out and stopped for a bit (kept my dick in though)…

After a couple minute breather I dumped a bunch of lube on his ass crack above his hole and went back to fucking him. As I was fucking him I thought that t-shirt you see some guys wearing “Fuck me like you hate me”. I really felt zero emotional connection to the bottom – he was just some messy, tweaked out poz guy who seemed like his life was sorta out of control. Sure he had a nice body, but that just made him a decent piece of meat. Good thing I’m not the type of top who likes to have intimate, romantic sex… This time around I got myself at an angle so my dick had more stimulation and that did the trick – a few minutes later I blew what felt like a huge load in his ass.

I stayed in his ass for a couple minutes as I caught my breath. Usually I cuddle bottoms, but didn’t really feel like it with him so much. I did it a little, but it was sorta half-hearted. Then I pulled my dick out and even with my glasses off I could see that it was literally covered in shit. I hate that. The good part was it happened after I came and somehow none of it got on the sheets or on the towel I had down under his ass.

We went to the bathroom and cleaned up (he asked for permission to take a shower), then we chatted a little as he was leaving… All in all an OK fuck, but if I had pulled my dick out any sooner it wouldn’t have gone so well…

Woke up Saturday morning a bit boned, wanted to fuck, but I wasn’t sure whether I was going to be able to cum. I was just one of those feelings… Anyway, the fact that the poz guy I fucked the other night had fucked Christian (from Treasure Island), and just a couple weeks before Johnny Miles from Horndawgz had fucked him, I was feeling a little left out. There was a point in time when Christian had shown some brief interest in hooking up with me, but ever after that he sorta ignored me. I figured IML was my chance to get in his hole. I saw him online and asked if he was looking and he said sure, but he wanted a blindfolded pump-and-dump (as if that would be a problem for me).

Bottom line I showered and was at his room about 15 minutes later. I gotta say, he’s totally my type – short, thin, skinny waist, hot ass… He sucked me a bit, but my dick wasn’t really in the mood for a blowjob, so I had him get on the bed on all fours and I rimmed his ass. His ass tasted a little funny, and before I even asked he said he had put a booty bump up there and I might taste it. I usually don’t like fucking guys who are PNPing, but he didn’t seem all that high. But I didn’t eat out his ass as vigorously as I usually do ’cause I didn’t really want anything in my system. Nice hole though…

When I went to fuck him he asked me to take out the curved barbell I had in my dick ’cause he was filming later that day and needed to be in good form. He mentioned he liked PAs, had one himself, but just couldn’t take jewelry up his ass right then. First I fucked him on all fours and then on his belly. I gotta say it was one of the most wonderful holes I’ve ever fucked… Imagine a thick silky muscular ring – that’s his sphincter. Maybe he had just lubed really well, I don’t know, but it felt like putting your dick in a silky bag that was tight at the top and then just a big chamber.

Thing was, I’ve come to the conclusion that what gets me to cum is when the underside of the head of my dick is rubbing against something when I fuck. It’s why fucking a guy on his belly is usually what gets me off. Thing was the only point of pressure in Christian’s hole is the first part of the sphincter. It may feel incredible, but for me at least it wasn’t rubbing the right bits of my dick. I know some of you will say I’m a lame top, but it’s just how my body is built. On top of all that I hadn’t eaten a meal in 24 hours – just Ensure and some small granola bars, so my energy level wasn’t where it should have been.

Bottom line, I didn’t cum with him (like I didn’t cum with Jarod Steel at last year’s IML), but it was still a good fuck.

Just saw a story on The Sword that there’s a club drug mix out there now called MTV that combines Meth, Tenofivir (and anti-retroviral) and Viagra that neg barebackers are taking when they spend the night partying and barebacking… Meth to get high, Viagra to stay hard, and Tenofivir as a form of “PrEP”.

In case you don’t know anything about PrEP it’s an offshoot of PEP. PEP is the course of HIV meds that you take after being exposed to HIV. Used sparingly PEP is a good thing (though it’s a bit of a joke if you’re a bottom who regularly takes anonymous loads). PrEP takes that a step further an instead of being post-exposure it’s pre-exposure… If you’re the type of person who takes a lot of risk, you theoretically take HIV meds just like poz guys do so you won’t get HIV.

Let me put this bluntly – while you can make whatever choice you want, personally I think PrEP is a crock of shit and I’d never take it – even if I was a bottom. While the ARVs are far better today than they were 10 years ago, they still can have some serious side effects. It’s possible that the PrEP you take today could have worse long-term impacts than becoming HIV positive.

IMHO, the fewer meds I take the better. In the past I always said if I became poz I wouldn’t take meds until I clearly needed them. Now I’m not sure what I’d do. I might take a mild ARV, but I’d first want to get a sense for what HIV was doing in my body. If I could stay off meds I would – for example if it was clear that the strain I had was particularly mild.

One of my big issues is that doctors are putting people on ARVs immediately after diagnosis. They say it’s because it’s best for the patient, but I really think it’s because the meds stop them the person from spreading HIV. It’s clearly best for the community, but I don’t quite believe them that it’s best for the individual patient. [And yes, this is where my selfish American side comes out. A European would likely have no problem taking meds because it’s in the best interest of the community.]

The other problem with PrEP is that you can build up a resistence to ARVs and when you do become poz your treatment options are less. That’s not a good thing at all.

In the case of guys who take MTV or other forms of unsupervised, recreational PrEP they’re in an even worse position – their intermittent use of ARVs will most definitely create drug resistance problems for them long-term. And the combination of PNP and barebacking means they’ll probably wind up poz at which point the drug resistance will be a problem.

Bottom line – if you PNP leave ARVs out of the mix. In the long run you’re better off not taking ARVs until you need them. If you really want to be on PrEP – see a doctor and do exactly what s/he tells you to do (and be honest with them about your recreational drug use)…

I want my MTV too – the old one that played music videos all day long…

Load 2009-4

There’s a guy I saw a few months ago – hot little tattooed guy. I remember him telling me back then he did gogo dancing. He’s not the pretty boy type – more of a tough little guy… Anyway he resurfaced the last couple weeks and he was the one who I didn’t hookup with on Monday ’cause I wasn’t sure whether it would go well given my mellow mood…

Tonight I wasn’t really looking – just sorta bored and looking at BarebackRT for the hell of it. He said ‘hi’ and I knew he was nearby so I figured what the hell – asked my bf if it was OK, and then went over.

I got there and he was really short which was sorta cool. My boyfriend is short, but this guy was noticeably shorter. He just had a t-shirt and underwear on so I could tell he was really thin too… This promised to be fun…

We went in the the bedroom, took off our clothes (I left on my tshirt). He got on his knees and started sucking my cock. He was so adorable… So tiny, so cute…

That went on for a while, though not too long given how long a serious cocksucker would make it last. It was a decent blowjob (no teeth, but wasn’t really doing anything special for me – which is pretty typical of me and blojobs). When I was cleaning up before I went over I noticed my dick was pretty chubby – it was like there was still a little bit of the partial pill that I took a couple days before that was still active. I wasn’t super hard or anything – just thick and spongey.

I wanted to rim his ass, which I think surprised him a bit. He seemed to like it – nice hole – his ass was a bit fuzzy which was cool. Eventually I had it really wet with spit, stood up, but some spit on my dick and shoved in. I love how little guys respond. Since they’re smaller it’s a bit more intense when they get fucked. It took a few strokes for him to get used to my cock, and then we were off…

Fucking him reminded me of fucking one of my old boyfriends (the one who got me addicted barebacking and blowing load up guys’ asses). With my old boyfriend I could literally get in deep enough to hit his second sphincter. I couldn’t quite do that with this guy, but it felt like it was close.

At first I didn’t know if I could cum all that quickly, but it wasn’t long before I felt my orgasm coming – gave him a decent load, though not a huge one.

We then laid next to each other and I played with his nipples while he jacked off (it was a dry orgasm). The whole encounter was sorta passionless – it was just a fuck. I think he liked me, but I wonder if the lack of emotion wasn’t due to whatever he was smoking.

The funny part was he told me I was a lot more attractive than my pics. Guess I need one of my tricks to take some decent pics of me on of these days…

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